Tell us about your dp experience
Posted 29 April 2008 - 09:16 AM
Does anyone have any tips on how to ease it? Sometimes I feel like im losing my mind and wasting my life in the process!
Posted 19 September 2008 - 04:37 PM
Posted 04 October 2008 - 01:45 PM
I am new to this forum, and would like to say that I am very glad to have found this place.
My depersonalization began as early as when I was 13-14 years old; I can remember during basketball games I would sometimes get into the depersonalized state, however at most it would last until the end of the game. Fast-forward--I'm 19 now, soon to be twenty, and have been dealing with near-constant depersonalization for about a year, only having recently discovered what exactly it is that I've been dealing with. I had searched on the internets for a very long time, trying to figure out what exactly I was dealing with, because I felt like I was going crazy.
Like many others' stories that I've read, my depersonalized onset was catalyzed by an incident with marijuana that was extremely psychologically terrifying. I had been smoking somewhat regularly prior to the incident, however what I had been smoking had not been nearly as potent as the marijuana that induced my depersonalization. I took one hit, and the rest of the night consisted of my friends telling me I'm nuts while I watched everything from third-person.
Anyhoo, I'm really glad to have found out what my disorder is--even just finding out what it is, and finding resources has made me feel significantly better about things.
For any advice I can offer, I guess I can say a few things having dealt with this disorder entirely on my own for the last year;
use of ADD-medicine (Methylphenidate, Amphetamine, Adderall, Etc.) will definitely make you feel more crazy--I base this on a lot of internet research that I've done, finding that a significant amount of persons participating in the double-blind surveys reported a significant onset of feelings of mental instability when dosed with Amphetamines and other isomeric relatives of it. I'd also say that the best medicine is the formation of a strong mind--over time, you will get used to this disorder, and you'll become stronger because of it. I've found that I can study longer, work out harder, and be a better friend because I feel detached from myself and am better able to cope with physical problems. Make this disorder your strength, use it for your advantage, instead of allowing it to take over your life and all of your thought processes. You'll still get the moments of "Oh my god why does everything seem like it's so weird" and "Oh man this feels so unreal it's really scary", but push on! You will get through it, and you will see better times.
I've also found that using small amounts or weak marijuana will relieve symptoms temporarily, however they will onset all the harder when you come down. So my message is simple---Don't smoke weed. I wish it wasn't this way, for all the other effects of marijuana are great, however it's really important that anyone who suffers from this disorder quits smoking weed. This, I believe, will speed up the process of becoming more mentally-stable.
Anyhow, it's great to have found a place to read more on this disorder, and I thank you all for providing and contributing to this haven.
- EdsonBo likes this
Posted 23 December 2008 - 06:47 PM
My name is Zoey. I'll tell you a bit about my dx history. I was a shy kid, come from a shy family. My father and mother both seem to have social anxiety disorder. Around age 17 I had my first full blown depersonalization experience (I always felt a bit detached emotionally at the same time prone to being overly sensitive and empathizing with others a bit much) that was pretty scary to me at the time.
I was working as a cashier at Longs Drug store. There were bright flourescent lights above the registers. Whenever I looked at them brightly colored bubbles floated around them in my eyes. It was my 2nd week or so on the job. A line started to form at my register. I felt panicked and couldn't remember how to page more cashiers to the registers. I couldn't remember how to do a price check. I couldn't remember where the list of sale items was or how to look them up. Bagging the items seemed beyond my capabilities. An attractive male customer in his late 20's or early 30's said hello to me and I blushed so intensely I knew that he could see it. Suddenly I felt light headed and as though I were outside of my body. I couldn't breath and I had an urge to lay down on the ground, curl up in a ball, and never get up. I feared that I might do just that. I thought, "I'm going insane. This is what it feels like to be insane." I was almost excited about it, like sort of experiencing that feeling outside of myself too.
I had a few more incidences, not as scary as the first one, but still enough to make me quit that job. These feelings returned when I got a job at a department store and at the time I though the thing those two jobs had in common was that they were dealing with the public and I was trapped behind a counter and felt like I couldn't get away. I realized a few years later that the flourescent lighting had a big part in triggering the depersonalization after I went into a conference room by myself to wait for a friend at his job and I was alone and there was a huge flouresent light above my chair and I instantly started to feel like I was floating outside of myself.
Anyone else have flourescent lighting trigger depersonalization?
- devin44 likes this
Posted 04 March 2009 - 08:31 PM
Posted 14 April 2009 - 03:09 PM
Basically I Have believed for about 12 years that everything I see is unreal, or imagined. It's very hard on me because I love my family and boyfriend but I cant seem to get myself to believe they are really there and that makes me feel very alone. The thought that everything I see is unreal is with me 24 7. When I want to do something or have to go to work I think, whats the point if nothings really there. I cant decide if everything is unreal, if Im stuck in a dream or if I'm just crazy. I can totally relate to the other posts on here and I am so glad that other people can share there stories. Oh yeh and when I was about 19 I fell into a terrible Heroin addiction. I felt it was better than killing myself. Im at the point now where I cant take it anymore and if nothing has changed over the past 12 years what can I expect to change now?
Posted 15 April 2009 - 11:46 AM
Over the years things have slowly improved but the last year, since finding out I wasn't actually schizophrenic after all, my symptoms have really improved no end. After years of constant DP, I now can go days without experiencing anything weird at all. Experiencing strong emotions has been difficult to handle but I know it is part of the healing process so I just go with the flow. I no longer see professionals for my DP and take no medication at all. When I start feeling anxious, I meditate, exercise and this may sound strange, but I go hug a tree!
- EdsonBo likes this
Posted 01 October 2009 - 12:24 AM
Posted 21 November 2009 - 07:54 PM
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