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Poll: Derp (64 member(s) have cast votes)

Are you experiencing BM and/or cogntive impairment/decline?

  1. Yes, i'm paralyzed by BM/CI (23 votes [35.94%])

    Percentage of vote: 35.94%

  2. Voted Yes, this is one of my main symptoms (22 votes [34.38%])

    Percentage of vote: 34.38%

  3. Yah, i gots me sum of dat (5 votes [7.81%])

    Percentage of vote: 7.81%

  4. My intellectual capacity has not changed since getting DP (4 votes [6.25%])

    Percentage of vote: 6.25%

  5. I have an overactive mind (10 votes [15.62%])

    Percentage of vote: 15.62%

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#49 Hedgehog fuzz

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Posted 03 January 2017 - 03:41 PM

devin that's awesome.



#50 PermanentBrainFart

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Posted 03 January 2017 - 08:02 PM

Absolutely amazing finding this thread, to be able to finally read about others with the exact or very similar issues to me has come at the right time. It's been a very long, arduous and painful experience these past 6/7 years I've had this blank mind, its had a devastating impact on all aspects of my life.

 

Having had a think back to my younger days I realised I had some form of dissociation issues which waxed and waned through my early teens, which I was strangely unaware of, even still when the illness hit at 19 after a combination of stress and smoking weed.

 

Since the disorder started, weirdly i was so disconnected from things that I was unaware that my emotions were so blunted only up until about a year ago, even though i wasn't able to watch tv shows, films or read books for example, I was unable to fully comprehend that I wasn't enjoying things as much due to being so disconnected from myself. 

 

My experience has been very tricky as I don't look/act too dissimilar from my old self in front of friends/family, but I just am unable to hold a conversation, think moment by moment anywhere like I used to, but, as long as I'm not too symptomatic I can pull off an interaction with someone, albeit coming off as anxious and lacking in substance, subject matter or sustained eye contact.

 

I've also had a lot of physical symptoms from eating certain foods, and beverages too like coffee, alcohol, fermented drinks, this part has been as big a piss take as the blank mind symptom due to the constant fluctuations in symptoms it gives me on a daily basis. Also I get a surge of crappy adrenaline if I don't eat quick enough in the mornings and in between meals...

 

I'm currently on a combo of memantine and inositol, the memantine seems to of done a good job at dampening things down, inositol (the more I increase the dose) seems to bring back my feelings and sense of connection to the world around me. But still a pretty long way to go at the moment, fingers crossed though. 

 

I very much look forward to hearing others ideas and approaches for how to go about treatment, talking to family and friends etc. 

 

I'd appreciate responses from anyone with any similar experiences.



#51 devin44

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 02:37 PM

Haha pretty poetic dude! Well it was back and it's sort of gone again, though it does seem to have improved a bit generally. I think because I'm still young, no allowing myself to burn the candle at both ends felt like giving up a bit. But there's no shame in taking care of yourself, I'd rather be a bit boring every now and then and feel marginally better overall. Take care of yourself too dude (and everyone)! Diet/exercise may not fix DP/DR but they can sure make it a hell of a lot more bearable. 

P.S. The Pixies are fkn great.



#52 Pondererer

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 06:14 PM

I often call the blank mind and depersonalization in general "the other side of humanity." Most people are feeling, thinking, perceiving, lively beings while we are empty, emotionless, thoughtless, disconnected creatures fighting for scraps of humanity not for our satisfaction, but in order to temporarily validate our precarious existence so that we do not fall into the pit of something that seems far worse than death and non existence, a nothingness that relentlessly attempts to eliminate any sense of existence by destroying everything which makes up the identity into smaller and smaller pieces in some of the most painful and mortifying ways possible.

That...was so damn accurate!



#53 surf

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Posted 01 November 2017 - 11:29 PM

I completely relate, well written. 



#54 dolphin

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Posted 03 November 2017 - 11:02 AM

Anyone getting better from this? I still experience it chronically after one night of weed/alcohol usage. I find it really hard to explain to people how I feel but the blank mind symptom ties into the brain fog/lightheadedness/stoned feeling. I feel like I could stare at a wall for hours and do nothing. It's like I've lost my ability to live life intuitively. Even when I try to ignore it, socialize, it never goes .. I suffer from cognitive impairment too - I'm able to do well in school because of ridiculous hard work but it's like I have a problem processing information. When I try to read or listen to something theres a mental gap between the words and my brain actually processing them. I have executive functioning problems as well, like I can formulate a plan if I take the time to write something out (takes a lot of effort) but I am no longer able to plan things in my brain. It's like I can't hold a thought. 



#55 MichaelTheAnhedonic

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Posted 04 November 2017 - 10:25 AM

Maybe I said it earlier but methylphenidate helps with this. But I don't recommend if you are anxious or have history of psychotic illness in family. It's hard to get prescription anyway.



#56 blankxi

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Posted 13 December 2020 - 02:43 PM

Yep. I used to have dp/dr with racing/looping thoughts, but that finally culminated into a blank mind, a void, if you will. It's as though my psyche couldn't handle the constant negative thoughts and emotions any longer that my mind had been "fighting" with and so it decided to check out.

This is the worst possible state I've ever been in and cannot imagine anything worse except for perhaps total insanity/psychosis.

Ever since this "blankness" began, I feel as though I've been trapped in an eternal moment of emptiness, despair, hopelessness and suicidal waves of terror practically daily. No enjoyment from anything, I function like a robot, walk the streets like a ghost, like the living dead.

I've been corresponding with someone who went through this state and came out of it in a year by grounding himself through yoga, meditation and doing activities he "enjoyed" so there is some sort of hope, although we need to take action for this to pass, as he says. It likely won't go away on its own, from what I understand. As some have been telling me so far - I need to "get back into my body."



#57 blankxi

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Posted 13 December 2020 - 02:44 PM

I was wondering if you could give an update. is your mind still blank?





Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Blank Mind, Cognitive Impairment, Cognitive Decline, Idiopathic Mental Retardation, Horror, Despair, Agony, Dissociative Brain Injury

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