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My Personal Story - Recovery - Looking for advice, smoking again?

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#1 Caleb_Nash



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Posted 04 October 2016 - 08:59 AM

Hey guys, just wanted to share my personal story, in hopes of gaining some advice. 

Back in year 9 of high school I started to smoke weed. First couple times were OK. I didn't really get high. (Note: All these times were smoking an unknown strain of hydro bud) 

Then one day me and my mate smoked a few huge cones. This was because I hadn't previously gotten high and assumed I needed a huge dose. (At the time I weighed like 55kg, very lightweight) When we were walking back to school I got hit with DP and had a freak out. My friend was fine. 

It lingered for a couple days and went away when I smoked more. Every weekend my other friend would come over and we would smoke, walk to the fish and chip shop, get chips and eat them. I got moderate DP during these times but I was fine. I explained my symptoms to my stoner mates and they said it was normal. So I kept smoking and putting up with the DP assuming it was part of the experience. 

Then one day I locked myself in the toilets at school and smoked lots more. I had a panic attack, thought I was melting and had to get picked up from school. I realize doing this at school was stupid and the anxiety of doing this before class was probably the cause of my DP. After this I never smoked again.

Fast forward a year, still fucked up. I had brain scans done and all sorts of shit to no avail. I took a 200mg caffeine pill and it sent me straight back into it. 

Fast forward another year. Still fucked up, although I'd have periods where the DP was light, giving me hope of recovery. 

Fast forward to now. I'm working, just finished school and 90% recovered. I can go days at a time without feeling or thinking about DP at all. Although when I think about it or get anxious I get bursts of it. A few weeks ago I drank half a beer and stopped due to feelings of DP. I think this was due to the anxiousness of getting DP.. weird. I tried drinking again the weekend after and just drank heaps and got drunk for the first time. I was fine. I've been drunk about 5 times since and for the past week I've been drinking every night due to the feelings I get from alcohol. I enjoy it. I've also started smoking cigarettes, the strongest you can buy in Australia. I used to worry about cigarettes as I thought any 'drug' or mind altering substance would cause me DP. I like smoking cigarettes. 

I'm living in a new place now, where everybody is either a stoner or a meth addict. It's a shit place. I'm constantly surrounded by weed. My mum and dad both smoke, and I deal to my friends who are constantly at my house ripping cones in my man cave. 

Now, this may sound stupid but I want to try smoking. It's so weird to be selling a drug I can't use and have people at my house smoking weed that I've supplied out of pieces that I own. I feel like when I had the DP experience it was due to the setting and amount. The weed I have access to now is grown by somebody I know personally with 20+ years of experience growing. I trust the product and those that I sell to say it's the best most potent stuff in this area. I just want to roll a tiny bit into my cigarettes and smoke up and see how I go. But I don't want to risk another 3 years of DP. 

Please share your personal experiences, especially if you've smoked again. I'd love some advice! And yes, I know I'm stupid. 

tl;dr Basically recovered from DP. I can drink large amounts of alcohol and smoke cigarettes without any DP. Same with energy drinks. Want to try smoking again due to constantly being surrounded by weed. 

Thanks for reading! 


#2 Guest_Jeff_*

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Posted 04 October 2016 - 11:05 AM

Question has been asked many times... Why pour gasoline on a fire? 


Marijuana is a dissociative drug, sure you can try it again, would I recommend it? Absolutely not. Being around weed and smoking it are two different things. I'd hate to see you recover and then go back to being in a dissociated state just to smoke.


Just my personal opinion! 

#3 999661


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Posted 04 October 2016 - 12:24 PM

I am one who has smoked several times even after 'experiencing DP'. I experience it all the time as my 'standard' state of consciousness. My experiences with smoking weed now are very simple: If i smoke too much, I will straight on go into a very unpleasant state, feel waves of anxiety and also my thoughts change, i might feel more paranoid or have violent and painful thoughts. It will usually wear off after some hours and I will be back to my standard DP state. Thats not to say its fine and nice to smoke and go into that state, I simply hate when it happened in the past, really feels hellish. But I have learned to 'microdose' on weed, smoke 1 calculated hit and hold it for a few seconds. That way i will get a soft high, which is actually enjoyable, and wont feel the negative effects almost at all. It took me some time to figure what this proper dosis is. I dont smoke much weed nowadays, very rarely i will take 1 or 2 hits because my friends still smoke.

So the conclusion is: If you smoke too much (beyong a certain threeshold that is different for every person) its very likely you have a strong bad trip. If you smoke very little, you will only get mild effects. So if you want to smoke, my suggestions would be to do it like, measuring how much you can smoke without feeling bad. 

Of course, in the end, Weed is not something i will recommend for any person to use frequently, the best thing i believe is to learn to relax, be in the momment, connecting with people and life without needing to use any substance. Take care =)

#4 aworthycause


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Posted 04 October 2016 - 12:37 PM

Don't. I ended up in a second period of DP/DR thanks to that stupid asshole drug. Right now you probably can't remember how shitty you felt at your worst. But I think it's safe to say it's not worth the risk.

#5 KurtCobain


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Posted 05 October 2016 - 10:55 AM

Don't smoke weed. Under any circumstance.


The potential for bad, and the very realistic and likely possibility that it will send you into heavy depersonalization is not worth it. 


All it would take is one puff and it will likely bring up everything that you worked so hard to overcome.


Once you have engrained this in your mind, eventually you won't even care about people smoking weed because you know just how toxic it can be for you.


At one point in my life, I was the biggest stoner I knew, and now I don't even consider it whatsoever. I've had friends come over and smoke weed, I've gone to friends' houses where everyone but me is getting high.  I'm telling you this because I know what it's like to be around that and that help show you that when you understand how bad it is for your condition you lose any craving or urge.

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