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Old user back with some new experience. *Trigger Warning*

2K views 19 replies 4 participants last post by  Mandaaa101 
#1 ·
Hey everyone

For those of you who don't know me I used to be an active member here like two years ago when I was suffering from symptoms DP/DR. The forum would be in disarray sometimes because there were members on here who would stir up a lot of trouble (including me but to a lesser extent). I've just returned to give a little hope and advice for the new members here of whom are fledglings.

I am in no way a professional doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist. I am only a person who has gone through the symptoms of DP/DR described on the countless threads you see on this forum which attest to the description of what DP/DR is. A long time ago when I experienced these symptoms I looked them up on the Google search engine to find out what to call it since everyone else thought I was going insane. After countless hours of searching I finally stumbled on this website and it is by far THE most helpful, supportive, and interactive website you will find with active members who are willing to shed light on what DP/DR is and have a willingness to guide you through it without actually being in your presence.

Let me just say for me the symptoms was the more prominent part of the problem. The symptoms can be induced by doing the most simplest things, by smoking weed or being around fluorescent lights, to all kinds of other triggers which could easily upset your mind and thwart your progress almost instantly depending on how sensitized you are to what is going on.

I no longer experience symptoms of DP/DR because I am used to them and have desensitized. I no longer feel like I am at the center of the universe, feel like everyone else around me is a robot devoid of any conscious awareness, am stuck living in a dream, etc etc.

Why?

Because despite thinking these things, nothing is going to change what is going on around you except you. Which leads me to believe that DP//DR is a LONG-TERM dissociative condition. The symptoms of unreality DO eventually subside. But what does not subside is how you initially plunged into this state of chaos which in the long-run is potentially more harmful for you than an array of psychosomatic symptoms.

I believe they are problems stemming from the unconscious which cannot be directly addressed by the conscious mind because you are not yet aware of them. When you are not aware of them you don't know how to deal with them and you remain tangled in a symptomatic state because you are not dealing with these problems affectively or choose to recognize them for what they are.

It took me a LONG time (up until now) to finally understand this very simple thing.

And this is what I wanted to share with all of you.

Your symptoms will subside. But your INNER conflicts, what you feel on an emotional level, the very factors which led you to this condition, will not. Because you are choosing to run away from them without even realizing you're doing that.

The first step to wholeness IMO would be to accept that you are running away from your dissociation.

How do you run away from dissociation?

Look up with dissociation means and you will understand how you are running away from it.

If you have any questions just ask. I will be here. But not for very long.
 
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#4 ·
The symptoms of unreality are by far the most disturbing for me, while my inner conflicts on an emotional level are virtually absent after more than a decade living with this condition.

Besides the heightened anxiety that is.

Great that you have briefly returned.

Are you Dutch, German or from Belgium? :)
 
G
#5 ·
I wouldn't personally phrase it as running away from problems - past issues with the site, like you mentioned but maybe prior to that, were due to accusatory posting, as if people didn't feel bad enough already!

Say if someone had suffered a long-standing stressful situation they couldn't get away from, they may have dissociated from instinct to survive. It's not so much they were at fault, but they did what they had to.

Accepting is a word I agree with though. I think that often we fight with ourselves in an automatic way. Sometimes when we have an emotional problem it just needs to be acknowledged.
 
#6 · (Edited by Moderator)
I wouldn't personally phrase it as running away from problems - past issues with the site, like you mentioned but maybe prior to that, were due to accusatory posting, as if people didn't feel bad enough already!

Say if someone had suffered a long-standing stressful situation they couldn't get away from, they may have dissociated from instinct to survive. It's not so much they were at fault, but they did what they had to.

Accepting is a word I agree with though. I think that often we fight with ourselves in an automatic way. Sometimes when we have an emotional problem it just needs to be acknowledged.
Very true.

Apologies to anyone who may have discerned a negative connotation there.

I didn't mean it like, "you run away from your problems, deal with it" kind of thing, I meant it more of like, "You might want to see what you're doing so you can help yourself out a little bit by recognizing what you did."

Maybe that still seems to forceful? Dunno.

If anyone thinks I came across a little too brash I apologize. I will work on this.

Hope everyone feels better!

And thanks for your acknowledgement Phantasm! (No sarcasm intended)
 
#7 ·
The symptoms of unreality are by far the most disturbing for me, while my inner conflicts on an emotional level are virtually absent after more than a decade living with this condition.
Besides the heightened anxiety that is.
Great that you have briefly returned.
Are you Dutch, German or from Belgium? :)
Thanks!

And neither of the 3. Still very nice guesses though. :)
 
#8 ·
While I finally felt like my depersonalization has lifted a ton, I feel like I am waking up sad now ( just recently started)as if my hope that I had for the last 2 years has gone. It could be from reading so much negativity on here, because I just recently started coming on more often then usual. I need some positive thoughts and posts from you guys. It must get better. It must be able to go away. I have never heard of an old person saying they have dp.
 
#9 ·
While I finally felt like my depersonalization has lifted a ton, I feel like I am waking up sad now ( just recently started)as if my hope that I had for the last 2 years has gone. It could be from reading so much negativity on here, because I just recently started coming on more often then usual. I need some positive thoughts and posts from you guys. It must get better. It must be able to go away. I have never heard of an old person saying they have dp.
Tell me about the first time DP/DR hit you.

Sadness usually is what follows once dissociation lifts. I think it's more of like, tapping into who you are again.

The symptoms do go away. I feel like you don't have to worry about any of this.

Your main concern should be what happened to the person who became lost.

I also just want to say that while being on here is a great pedestal for support, it's also akin to being in an asylum. You will read about people who have suffered from this for years and years and you feel like you're never going to get any better and lose hope.

Part of the solution is recognizing that you are your own person and what applies for others may or may not apply to you. Do not be discouraged.
 
#14 · (Edited by Moderator)
What the hell is wrong with me. Am I crazy? Is this psychosis? Am I going to die?? Am I going to be like this forever?
So did the feeling come first or did the thoughts come first? Did the feeling trigger the thoughts or did the thoughts trigger the feelings?

Let me give you an example.

One night I was thinking about life and realized life was meaningless. This sent me into a state of extreme panic/anxiety which then led to me being DP/DR'd the next day.

What I did was think about all of the horrible things which led me to feeling. In your case, you just suddenly had a panic attack and then instantly become DP/DR'd?
 
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