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Existential Thoughts


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#13 ZweilousRage

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Posted 09 June 2016 - 08:56 PM

yeah with a capital B.  haha
I always like to distract myself when my brain tries to ask stupid questions like that, by answering it with a stupid answer.  Something like "why do I see things..." "FITNESS"  or "what's the purpo..." "PIZZA"

Eventually my brain just gives up...



#14 Carl_34_m_UK

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Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:04 AM

my thoughts have attached to everything. Everything we say amd do is pointless. All we are doing is passing time day by day until we die. It's like we are just killing time before we die
The whole existence of human beings is pointless. As is the universe and the planet etc. We are all going to die but yet I'm being forced to live. I don't like the concept of being alive and just passing time until I die but I'm trapped having to do it. I wish 9 never started to think this way y dp dr has gone but these obsessive thoughts stay with me because they are truthful.

#15 Alex617

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Posted 10 June 2016 - 07:19 PM

my thoughts have attached to everything. Everything we say amd do is pointless. All we are doing is passing time day by day until we die. It's like we are just killing time before we die
The whole existence of human beings is pointless. As is the universe and the planet etc. We are all going to die but yet I'm being forced to live. I don't like the concept of being alive and just passing time until I die but I'm trapped having to do it. I wish 9 never started to think this way y dp dr has gone but these obsessive thoughts stay with me because they are truthful.

I often feel the same way, but I wonder how much of it comes from my mental illness. I never thought this way before, then once I became depressed and dp/dr'ed I began wondering these questions. I guess we spend so long just fighting this suffering that we begin to wonder what's the point, but when I get a little bit of relief and I'm just living in the moment, I suddenly remember that my life isn't pointless to me at all. These thoughts definitely make recovery 10x harder though.



#16 ZweilousRage

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Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:59 PM

One thing that definitely lifted my spirits was hearing someone say that being on this planet, in the body that we're in is a privilege or a gift.  whether or not you believe in anything (I'm actually a little agnostic), I find it pleasing when I would look back and appreciate the fact that I'm even having these thoughts and feelings in the first place.  But it definitely depends on the point of view you're looking from.



#17 Alex617

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Posted 11 June 2016 - 11:43 AM

One thing that definitely lifted my spirits was hearing someone say that being on this planet, in the body that we're in is a privilege or a gift.  whether or not you believe in anything (I'm actually a little agnostic), I find it pleasing when I would look back and appreciate the fact that I'm even having these thoughts and feelings in the first place.  But it definitely depends on the point of view you're looking from.

I understand what you mean, I too try to comfort myself with these thoughts. Life is better than no life, as my therapist said even depression is an experience worth having over nothing. If all things considered, life is pretty damn good. It becomes a struggle when you are overwhelmed with suffering though.



#18 JDX2020

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Posted 12 June 2016 - 01:09 PM

Hey Everyone, I have deal with solipsism thoughts before and have overcome them but now they have come back different and stronger. I started to think what if everyone wasn't real and they were just ghosts of people from previous lives. I know this thought is irrational but my OCD/ DP makes me feel as if its real or something that I should be certain about but im sure we all know certainty with OCD and DP is non existent. Could anyone weigh in on similar thoughts and what you did to recover?

#19 Alex617

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Posted 15 June 2016 - 01:13 AM

Hey Everyone, I have deal with solipsism thoughts before and have overcome them but now they have come back different and stronger. I started to think what if everyone wasn't real and they were just ghosts of people from previous lives. I know this thought is irrational but my OCD/ DP makes me feel as if its real or something that I should be certain about but im sure we all know certainty with OCD and DP is non existent. Could anyone weigh in on similar thoughts and what you did to recover?

Just have to wait and keep interacting with people.



#20 illmatic

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Posted 15 June 2016 - 01:44 AM

I always had existential thoughts. Before I had DP I actually enjoyed them. I guess I thought a but too much, and combined with other stressful events in my life, caused my DP.
What helps is just distracting myself. Even if it's watching a dumb TV show that has no point. Just laughing and trying to enjoy something helps.

#21 ocd_matt

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Posted 15 June 2016 - 12:45 PM

Having had several episodes of DP throughout the last 15 years, these thoughts always top the list of intrusive mind games.

You will become free of them, I think we question everything because of the state we are in, believe me, I think I've questioned everything. What used to get me is that half of it you can't answer and then panic would set in.

You see your neighbour putting out his bins? Do you think he's questioning why the grass is green? Nope. Just laugh it off and carry on and these will be subside over time

#22 Carl_34_m_UK

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Posted 15 June 2016 - 02:27 PM

my problem is my mind has been overcome and controlled by these thoughts to the point I can't function my day to day life
It's become a state of mind rather than thoughts that are on and off

#23 river

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Posted 15 June 2016 - 09:22 PM

This post is going to be, uh, rather long.

It was only days ago where I had something like a psychotic break, I guess. My mind flipped a switched, decided to tell me, "This isn't real." My mind was at war with itself. I was suicidal. I cried. I balled up my little fists in rage and astonishment and wanted to give up while simultaneously refuse. I went to the hospital for a night to protect myself, from myself, from my thoughts, from the goddamn world, alright?  They were constantly spinning. All I could think of what the hell was the point of any of this, this wasn't real, it wasn't, it didn't matter. I had no future. The thought of knowing I've dissociated since I was a young child, not really being able to see 'reality', terrified me. I never got better, I haven't gotten better. I was frozen in time. Everything felt the same. I was in that hospital bed and I told myself this wasn't real. It wasn't real. The dissociation was strong. It was fierce. It broke me. It shattered me into these little fragments I liked to call my illnesses.
God, that lasted for a couple of days.
I felt so hideously, nauseatingly cosmically alone. Isolated.

Rationalizing made me feel better. Fighting it didn't. I hadn't slept well. Hadn't eaten well. 

I legit thought I wasn't going to come out of this. These thoughts were so strong, so heavy. This was, laughably, the scariest experience of my life. I'm still  battling with it. My mind looks at these odd patterns and arbitrarily decides to justify this obsession, this spike, this cycle. It says, "You'd only dream this." "You made this all up, they're all figments. You're in a catatonic state." The surreality of life is a challenge. But here's what these thoughts have in common: my subconscious. Deep down, in my bones, I wanted to win this over. I am gonna. And you are too. But then I researched it, just as obsessively  as I was thinking of my unreality. I find out this is OCD. That I am sane, but scared. You all are, too.

Listen.

Cherish it. Cherish life. You never know what it's going to hand you. I adopted a kitten to distract myself, I've been sloppy with my eating, I've been attempting tor rest well, but most of all, not only distract myself but find purpose in doing so. Distracting myself with real good things. Sometimes I can't let it go. I'm scared to go out, but listen: you have to force yourself. This goes for you all of you. You keep on walking. Don't you dare stop.

Rationalize it. Deep inside your soul. Don't let those thoughts cling onto you. They are monsters, they are bastards, they are rapists. They violate your mind and spit on you to tell you you have no purpose in life. They tell you that this isn't real. This isn't real because you don't want it to be real. This isn't real because you're protecting yourself.
 

But listen.

Open your eyes.

You are going to get through this. It doesn't matter if this is a dream, if this is the reality we crafted for ourselves, it doesn't matter. All that matter is if you're fighting.

Eat well. Do meditation. You are not your thoughts. You are not your illness. You are more than that. You are so much stronger than these thoughts. A day ago, I realized I was glad I was alive. Not because of the big picture, not because of my supposed future, but because of a moment with an online friend. Because I laughed. I am glad I lived through it to experience that. Laughing is a powerful thing, do it well. Those small moments are so important, so much more important than focusing on DP/DR. It doesn't matter if you have a bad day. There's always a possibility for a small amount of joy, for a small amount of atleast something. So grab it.


Tell me you're fighting. Fight. Take care of yourself.


 



#24 Pondererer

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Posted 16 June 2016 - 08:04 AM

This post is going to be, uh, rather long.

It was only days ago where I had something like a psychotic break, I guess. My mind flipped a switched, decided to tell me, "This isn't real." My mind was at war with itself. I was suicidal. I cried. I balled up my little fists in rage and astonishment and wanted to give up while simultaneously refuse. I went to the hospital for a night to protect myself, from myself, from my thoughts, from the goddamn world, alright?  They were constantly spinning. All I could think of what the hell was the point of any of this, this wasn't real, it wasn't, it didn't matter. I had no future. The thought of knowing I've dissociated since I was a young child, not really being able to see 'reality', terrified me. I never got better, I haven't gotten better. I was frozen in time. Everything felt the same. I was in that hospital bed and I told myself this wasn't real. It wasn't real. The dissociation was strong. It was fierce. It broke me. It shattered me into these little fragments I liked to call my illnesses.
God, that lasted for a couple of days.
I felt so hideously, nauseatingly cosmically alone. Isolated.

Rationalizing made me feel better. Fighting it didn't. I hadn't slept well. Hadn't eaten well. 

I legit thought I wasn't going to come out of this. These thoughts were so strong, so heavy. This was, laughably, the scariest experience of my life. I'm still  battling with it. My mind looks at these odd patterns and arbitrarily decides to justify this obsession, this spike, this cycle. It says, "You'd only dream this." "You made this all up, they're all figments. You're in a catatonic state." The surreality of life is a challenge. But here's what these thoughts have in common: my subconscious. Deep down, in my bones, I wanted to win this over. I am gonna. And you are too. But then I researched it, just as obsessively  as I was thinking of my unreality. I find out this is OCD. That I am sane, but scared. You all are, too.

Listen.

Cherish it. Cherish life. You never know what it's going to hand you. I adopted a kitten to distract myself, I've been sloppy with my eating, I've been attempting tor rest well, but most of all, not only distract myself but find purpose in doing so. Distracting myself with real good things. Sometimes I can't let it go. I'm scared to go out, but listen: you have to force yourself. This goes for you all of you. You keep on walking. Don't you dare stop.

Rationalize it. Deep inside your soul. Don't let those thoughts cling onto you. They are monsters, they are bastards, they are rapists. They violate your mind and spit on you to tell you you have no purpose in life. They tell you that this isn't real. This isn't real because you don't want it to be real. This isn't real because you're protecting yourself.
 

But listen.

Open your eyes.

You are going to get through this. It doesn't matter if this is a dream, if this is the reality we crafted for ourselves, it doesn't matter. All that matter is if you're fighting.

Eat well. Do meditation. You are not your thoughts. You are not your illness. You are more than that. You are so much stronger than these thoughts. A day ago, I realized I was glad I was alive. Not because of the big picture, not because of my supposed future, but because of a moment with an online friend. Because I laughed. I am glad I lived through it to experience that. Laughing is a powerful thing, do it well. Those small moments are so important, so much more important than focusing on DP/DR. It doesn't matter if you have a bad day. There's always a possibility for a small amount of joy, for a small amount of atleast something. So grab it.


Tell me you're fighting. Fight. Take care of yourself.


 

Needed to hear this from someone, thanks!






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