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*Trigger Warning* Need some help [Watching Gory videos]

1K views 14 replies 4 participants last post by  evolvingpsyche 
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#1 ·
Hey guys,

So when I was about 10 years old (before dp/dr) my friend used to make me look at gory images and videos of people dying.

It caused me to have a 3 month period of existential anxiety and crying fits.

Then I got DP/DR when I was 16 from a panic attack (also had transient DP/DR while taking drugs).

When I was 18 I started watching gory videos again, very gory (real people dying).

I went through another period of existential anxiety and hightened DP/DR.

I haven't watched anything gory since then but every time I acidentally see gore, I get very DP'd and depressed.

I get obsessive thoughts about the videos that I used to watch and it makes me feel phsyically ill.

Can anyone give me some tips as to how to let go of the thoughts?

Usually If a thought like this pops in, I just ignore it, but I got triggered last night by a few images that I wasn't expecting....

Thanks,

futurebandit
 
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#2 · (Edited by Moderator)
I don't know if this is a CBT method but it's something I've come to practice in my own thoughts...

When an unwanted thought comes into our minds, what do we typically do? Ignore it. Push it away. Dissociate. Get anxious. Etc.

Well I started doing this when a negative thought entered my head: I would think to myself, "That is a terrible thought." in other words - acknowledging it's power, and giving it the credit it deserves.

Once I started doing that with thoughts, ie respecting the thought as bad, (instead of pushing it away like thinking for example "I don't want to think that!"), then the thoughts dropped away.

It's like being in a dark room and thinking there's a monster in the corner, and the uneffective method would be to look away, and the way I'm saying is like shining a flashlight into the darkness, dispelling your fears.

Also, you can do the similar with positive thoughts. For example, somebody pays you compliment, "Good Job!" they say, then what do we typically think "Nah, that wasn't so great." Instead tell yourself "Yeah! That was good wasn't it? Yes! Yes it was :) "
 
#7 ·
Perhaps if you address the reasons why those feelings stir up and put a conclusion to them it will stop.
 
#8 ·
So what you could do is acknowledge that the gore is a terrible thing that you DON'T want to watch or remember.

That's the key, putting the thoughts/images/memories in their place.

You might think of course this is obvious, but give it a try and see if it makes a difference.
Love this advice. Good work TOF.
 
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#14 ·
The reason u watch gore is because your depressed because of somthing in your life. In the current now who do u currently live with? ever since i moved in with my dad, i lost all my cognitive functions can barely even write sentences any more because he is so hard to be around. my dad sufferd alot of abuse as a kid and had a horrific brain injury but also his personality bugs me to thats why, but all the anxiety from my mom has gone its justr dull now.

Theyve done studys on what affects the brain with dp and what it is.Ive done some tests of the years and the cause for me is definatly my parents. but im stuck now caus ei cant work so ya
I don't watch gore any more, it's been 3 years since I've watched it.

I live with my girlfriend and some flatmates, It's true that I used to watch gore because I was depressed and also curious, but now I'm feeling as good as ever since I've gotten DP.
 
#15 ·
Hey Futurebandit, not sure if you are reading this thread anymore but regardless: I've been there.

The same exact thought.
The same exact fear. I know how alone it feels like, especially since you can't really find much info about this specific one on the internet.

Don't be nervous if this does not convince you, but you are doing fine.

Similar sentences sure as hell did not convince me either. How the hell could they have known since they didn't have the same fear?

My advice to you is: examine what is it that makes you feel so bad about them.
See a therapist if necessary (for me it it was).
Realize that most people on the internet have seen similar videos, especially now with the ISIS rampaging going on. And most are doing just fine.

I wish I had known people are having the same fear when I had it, but I still got over it. Now I look back and laugh "What was that all about".

It will get better.
 
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