Hey there Dpselfhelp! This is my first post, and I'm glad that I can finally share my feelings with people that get me, and been through the same if not worse than what I am experiencing. Around 5 months ago, I realized that what I am experiencing is dp/dr, and had most likely gotten this through my undisciplined weed smoking habits. I started smoking around a year ago, when I moved to California for college. I had never previously been involved with drugs and alcohol, and was an athlete that took my fitness very seriously. I spent 18 years of my life living in my hometown of Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, before starting college in the US.
I spent my first year in the US living the same lifestyle I had been living for all of my life, healthy and drug free. I met a couple of friends during my 3rd semester in college that happened to smoke weed, and being the showoff that I am, I decided to give in to their peer pressure one day, and attempt to outsmoke them. Of course, I failed, but enjoyed the experience enough to get myself a medical marijuana ID. Within a couple of month's time I became the biggest stoner of them all, not feeling satisfied without having my minimum 2 grams a day. I eventually noticed some withdrawal symptoms when I decided to take a tolerance break, the symptoms lasted for about a week. The symptoms included, loss of appetite, depression, severe anxiety, fatigue, and insomnia. Regardless, I did return to weed after that week, and only stopped a month later, because I had to visit my parents for summer. I noticed some dp after stopping, but didn't know what in the world I was experiencing. I decided not to look into it, which was possible since the dp was mild. I eventually stopped feeling it just before the end of summer.
When I got back to California, I went back to smoking as much as I did, and of course I had been drinking as well as smoking all this time as well. This carefree lifestyle soon got the better of me, and I was back to dp, except it was intensified to what felt like a thousand times. Since realizing that I felt like I was back in this dream state again, I finally understood that I am experiencing depersonalization/derealization disorder. I found out about my condition 5 months ago, and have since seen 3 therapists, and decided to drop my 5th semester to get rid of any external stressors. I have taken several steps to get rid of this dp, but one thing I have not, and struggle to do is getting rid of my weed habits. After noticing that I have dp 5 months ago, I still spent the first 3 months smoking, and after managing to stop smoking weed for a bit longer than a month, I have recently returned to the same old smoking habits 2 weeks ago. I feel like I am now so used to dp, that I forgot what it feels like to not have it.