so i am currently forcing this out.
i feel i am at a standstill with dp and depression, i dont always feel bad, but its SO hard to say i feel good.
the only thing i can say is sometimes i laugh really hard at things, and thats "good"
its really hard for me to get how i feel out because i have an internal voice telling me its a waste of time to do so, but thank god i have a force inside of me making it come out. (giggity)
i have a sense of humor but sometimes i feel like its just me hiding the truth of who i am a hopeless person in search for peace and an answer to a question i can't even ask/explain.
anyway i also found out that there is such a thing as not liking music, which i have posted about in the past, and it makes me extremely sad. I'm not sure how it still makes me sad if i dont care for it, maybe its cuz I'm forcing it.
Music specific anhedonia. i would love to hear if you guys experience this. anyway. getting it all out.
also i have a girlfriend, but sometimes i question if i even care or even want her around, sometimes i just wish she was out of sight, and sometimes i love being with her. Sounds normal, but sometimes I'm just faking being like lovey dovey.