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DP/DR or am I going schizophrenic/something else?

schizo schizophrenia DP DR paranoia derealization memory problems depersonalization

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#1 myname

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 11:18 AM

For about 3-4 months now I've been going through emotional hell with near constant panic attacks, intrusive and obsessive thoughts (specifically that I might be going schizophrenic), and insomnia. I simply cannot think clearly anymore and my memory seems to be like that of a goldfish, sometimes I walk into a room only to be baffled for a few seconds at what I actually wanted to do in there, other times (when I happen to leave the house) and I have to interact with the greater environment and it's people I'm finding that I cannot remember words  (and have to circumvent my speech around these obstacles), or else I just go completely blank for whatever reason and Just don't know what I should verbalize, this has made me loose faith in my social abilities and caused me to withdraw. 
 
I also seem to constantly loose my train of thought like it will simply just switch and I forget whatever I was thinking 10 seconds ago. I also have severe difficulties retaining any sense of time and forming new memories it's like I will go do something and then suddenly when I'm done I'll have no memories of it what so ever, just some vague sense that I did it, then after about a day I have absolutely no remembrance, for example I cannot recall what exactly I did yesterday. 
  
Then there is the thing that I am actually slightly paranoid, as in I have always had social anxiety and problems walking through crowed places because I think people are always gawking at me and gauging me out. Added to my memory and cognitive deficits it is alarming me, although as said, I'm hoping it is just an underlying anxiety.
  
I also have extreme problems concentrating, as in I can spend hours re-reading the same paragraph and it will simply not integrate into my mind, it's like I can understand the words and the letters but not the content. 
 
I have also lost all interest in doing things because I simply feel like I no longer can do anything, due to my memory and cognitive decline. Ontop of that I have that empty/spacey feeling of nothing being real which makes it hard to indulge into the physical realm. 
  
Oh god please let this be DP/DR. how do I know the difference? like I haven't hallucinated anything yet, but I have like ALL the negative symptoms, especially the disorganization (I just lounge around in my room and every time I try to do something I don't have the concentration, energy or motivation to go beyond 5 mins of activity). I also feel like these memory problems are very debilitating.



#2 Swansea

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 06:53 PM

How old are you and what gender are you? Anxiety can be a great cause of memory problems



#3 Dead

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 10:03 PM

I feel like I wrote this. You are describing exactly what I go through every single day and it seems like you're new to dp/dr. My memory is just bad as yours I can't remember what I did a minute ago and it feels like everything is being done for me.

As for being schizophrenic you show no signs or symptoms. I've been in a hospital with 2 schizophrenics for a week they are completely nuts and its nothing close to dp or dr.

Feel free to reply and ask any questions. Forgive my horrible grammar.

#4 myname

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 11:47 PM

21 and male. I'm pretty sure though I've had DP/DR for a while longer (I know I've been googling schizophrenia since 2009) it's just that over the last 6 months, after moving out from home, I've gotten a whole pile of new stressers and my system just seems to be in overdrive mode right now.

 

I just think that low functioning paranoid schizophrenics, in hospital, having an episode, isn't representive of the average cross section of schizophrenics. Well I suppose though the only thing I can actually sympathise with are the thought disorders, espechally the thought blocking, It's like my mind just goes "erase all" every few miniutes, This guy is a good example of what I'm talking about, you can see throughout the video how he just finds it really hard to stay on track with his train of thoughts, it's currently exactly the way I communicate.







Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: schizo, schizophrenia, DP, DR, paranoia, derealization, memory, problems, depersonalization

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