After spending about a horrible year in the midst of this so called "disorder", I can say I am entirely 100% out of it. DP has shown no trace for months. Everything feels normal, nothing feels alien or unreal. I don't do those existential thoughts anymore. Everything in my life feels exactly like it did before DP hit me. My emotions are absolutely back to normal and exploding. The most important indication that I have conquered this is that I don't even remember how DP feels like. It feels like I've been normal all long, even during the times when DP was at its peaks. It's funny how your brain works. When DP'ed, you will feel like you've always been in that state, you even start questioning how you were before DP, or whether or not you ever were even normal. After recovery, it feels like you've always been normal, even when in the middle of DP struggling. You will even start laughing at yourself for suffering this long.
I remember back then when I was suffering, I would read the posts of those who recovered and said "it's all in your head, you're all normal to earth, just live a normal life and you will recover". My reaction would be: " screw you, this all can't be just in my head !! You obviously have no clue what you are talking about." I used to believe that I have an illness and I am fucked in the head. This made me waaaay more stressed, and thus dp would get worse. I always thought those who recovered had a DP that was milder than mine, or theirs was somehow different altogether. Somehow i knew that I won't recover like them. yeah, all the negativity, no wonder DP lasted that long. Somehow, everyone believes that their version of DP is the worst.
Now, to the main question, how to recover.
The answer: NOTHING. yep, nothing. Other than to fully accept it. Some would say: but I tried to accept but DP still lingers for years. Well, I've been there, you weren't actually accepting it deep down. Believing that you have accepted it doesn’t mean that you actually have successfully accepted it! There are two different levels of acceptance: accepting on the surface, and accepting deep down. Do you want a proof that you haven’t fully accepted your state: what the hell are you doing on this forum? and why are you reading my post?
You aren't on this website unless this condition is bothering you, so tell me again how you have come to accept it? Well, you haven’t. To accept it is to actually live with it as though it exactly never exists. It should never bother you anymore. Even though I heard this advice once DP hit me, I only started to apply it successfully after about 10 months of suffering. It is that hard. You actually have to feel or show no emotions/reactions AT ALL whenever an episode of DP strikes. Here’s a list of questions, if you answer to even one of them with a yes, then you haven’t accepted your DP:
- Do you sincerely hate your DP feelings?
- Do you wish to recover from this and never have it again?
- Are you trying to rush your recover?
- Have you stopped practicing some of your activities or postponed them until after recovery?
- Do you constantly check on how your feeling, or rate your DP from 1 to 10?
- Do you spend hours researching the condition online?
- Do you wish you never had this condition?
- Do you think fate was unfair for you to have suffered with this?
- Do you think you are unhappy because of DP?
The list can go on and on, but I think that would be sufficient to convey my message.
I am sure that vast majority here would answer with a yes to all of the questions, or even add 50 more questions and answer them with a yes. If you do, then I suggest reconsidering that you actually haven’t even taken the first step into recovery. Stop moaning and start living !!
I repeat, it’s not easy to fully accept it. It’s hard to pretend that you don’t hate those feelings it brings. It’s hard to not think negatively and ruminate all day long when it strikes you. One word: distraction. No matter how chronic or severe your condition is, if you distract yourself for long enough without rejecting your DP in anyway, you will be on the right track.
Now, you all have to realize one thing, this website is TOXIC. Not only that it’s filled with negatively and people who halt your recovery, it actually forces you subconsciously to think about DP. Remember: thinking about DP even in the slightest means you’re not fully accepting it.
You don’t have to follow a certain lifestyle or take specific medications to get over this. Many different studies have shown that SSRI pills have the same effect as placebo pills. You don’t need them as they do more destruction than to actually cure you magically.
If you want to have a strict lifestyle for recovery, sure please do. If that works, good for you. However, This actually can work against recovery for some people. For example, some would say you have to cut down on coffee since it increases anxiety. Whenever I did that, I found myself more thinking of DP and rejecting the its feelings. In other words, it kept me away from accepting it. A strict lifestyle to get rid of DP means you’re trying hard to recover, which means you’re NOT fully accepting it. Though some people managed to recover following that. Not me however.
In my opinion, psychiatrists aren't the best to treat this. They will label you with a “disorder” and give you drugs that work no better than a placebo. This labeling alone can crush recovery for some people. You will start to think that you are different, unfortunate, and less than other people. Even though you aren't in any way. You will research online to only find stories of those others who got labeled and didn't feel better, and you will assume the same will happen to you. Labeling will force you to walk in a very specific way in life, even though you are free to walk wherever you want. Dark thoughts and pessimism will be planted in your head, and worse suffering is to follow. Even though their intention might be pure, I do believe a lot of psychologist and psychiatrists worsen the condition of sufferers. All of anxiety, depression, and many other mental disorders are still unclear to them even though they believe they know it all. However, when you ask those who actually recovered WITHOUT medication, and you will hear different approaches.
I have mumbled for a little while, I apologize for a long post. I even have not organized my thoughts before typing this. I just opened a new thread and said here whatever I had on mind. I just know how much I loved reading recovery stories back then. It lit my tunnel with hope, and I would like to do the same here. This is completely curable I assure you. I do believe that most people recover from this. However, we all leave forums for good and forget about it. That’s why you only see those negative people lingering around here and spreading false facts.
I will try to answer questions as much as I can. I will try to pull myself back to this forum from time to time.
All of you DP people, this will go away I assure you. Just never come back to these forums again and live your life to the maximum. FULLY ACCEPT YOUR DP, DEEP DOWN. Don’t just say that you do. There's nothing wrong with your brain. Remember that !!
Wish you all the best.