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Do you think fear of death causes fear of living and worsens your symptoms?

Fear death scared dying living

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#1 Guest_Delicate_*

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 05:01 PM

I'm having a bad day today from a stupid dream would you believe, with my sister having died in it and my uncle nearly committing suicide. It got me thinking about death and my whole day got worse and worse as it progressed. This dream was obviously getting to me subconsciously. I started getting involuntary thoughts about me being a bad person, etc, and then I was getting panicky about the subject of death. It scares the hell out of me when I think about it. It didn't used to, when I believed in heaven etc, but now it does. I'm scared of there being nothing after. Which then led my thoughts to being scared of living, because living ends in death, there is no opting out - we all die. So then I felt like I was being hit from all sides with no way out. I had a panic attack and now I'm drugged up and content but I want to know if anyone gets like this too, and does it worsen your DP/DR? What causes it for you? Thanks!

#2 Guest_GhostsoftheGreat_*

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 05:24 PM

yeah, all the time. it's getting old honestly. it just randomly hits me. i've had a lot of dreams about death, too. it used to be that everyone in my dreams was dead. it's just like being trapped, but already dead. like you can't move on and live.

#3 Abraxas

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Posted 29 October 2012 - 09:52 PM

I think when you get in touch with you immoral/"dark side", you come to a point were you realize that you are capable of taking life away. Since you recognize this in yourself you come to the realization that other people around you have the same potential inside them, the same lurking, evil shadow. So you fear and "hide" that shadow part of you again. since, you think: only if i am evil will i attract evil.

Probably you're an angel, but are you not a bloodthirsty tiger as well?
Would the angel die having feared life?
Would the bloodthirsty tiger live in fear of death?

only when you neglect either side of the self are life & death frightening and unbearable.

death brings liberation, and the possibility for rebirth. how could old, obsolete structures ever fall, and give way to the new? how would, without death, the Universe renew itSelf?
Growth implies death, each moment you die and a new self is born.


Before Judeo-Christianism, there was no notion of "sin". Where is sin? who is sinful? what sin is worse than being untrue to your self? and if so, who would judge? who would punish?


Personally i don't fear death, neither do I seek it.
This does not mean that, when confronted to a specific, life-threatening situation, I do not fear. All animals fear. But we particularly tend to fear our own imagination, death is imagined, until it finally comes, and then.. who knows?

What if we are but a shell for the real Self? will you not die, so that He/She could live? Would you quicken your death, so that the new can rise faster? Would it be ready? Would you sit still, anguished by the fact that you are not "the most perfect, but a step towards it?". Or would you simply try to develop yourself as much as possible, taking your time, maturing day by day, expanding your horizons... so that, each day, a newer and better self is born. Would you not let go of old thought patterns and belief systems that restrict your life? Should you not bring death to them? Would you feel guilty as you let go of poisonous attachments? No, be without mercy, death comes to all, re-direct it at those things that should die first,
so that only that which is in your highest interest is preserved, until the very end of time.

So that, when you die, if such a culmination exists, you die at your best, without nothing to regret or fear. The parts of you that fear death are the very parts that "know" are to die first, and are not wanting to let go. Will you have mercy on them? are they not parasites inhibiting your growth? kill them, and re-cycle them, all energy serves evolution, all is re-cycled, even at a psychological level. Every single moment, you give birth and bring death to thoughts, feelings, ideas, words, actions. If you accept death then you can use it for your own benefit, for your own evolution. That is, you will bring death upon unwanted thought-patterns, relationships, and obsolete structures and concepts.
Then, when you have used and seen the benefits of death yourself, will you get upset when something Higher/Unknown uses it against you? Should the Universe feel guilty when bringing death to a being which is no longer essential? Would you fear this same process which you have already mastered and Know in yourself?

#4 Guest_Delicate_*

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Posted 30 October 2012 - 04:12 AM

Infinite life scares me more than death. Pointless existence that last forever? Horrifying. Who would want to be himself for all eternity? I know that I wouldn't. I'm glad that death exist.



When I am in a rational state of mind, this is exactly how I see things! Thank you for reminding me :) I can't believe I get so wrapped up in negativity that I actually forget that my beliefs were conflicting once.


I think when you get in touch with you immoral/"dark side", you come to a point were you realize that you are capable of taking life away. Since you recognize this in yourself you come to the realization that other people around you have the same potential inside them, the same lurking, evil shadow. So you fear and "hide" that shadow part of you again. since, you think: only if i am evil will i attract evil.

Probably you're an angel, but are you not a bloodthirsty tiger as well?
Would the angel die having feared life?
Would the bloodthirsty tiger live in fear of death?

only when you neglect either side of the self are life & death frightening and unbearable.

death brings liberation, and the possibility for rebirth. how could old, obsolete structures ever fall, and give way to the new? how would, without death, the Universe renew itSelf?
Growth implies death, each moment you die and a new self is born.


Before Judeo-Christianism, there was no notion of "sin". Where is sin? who is sinful? what sin is worse than being untrue to your self? and if so, who would judge? who would punish?


Personally i don't fear death, neither do I seek it.
This does not mean that, when confronted to a specific, life-threatening situation, I do not fear. All animals fear. But we particularly tend to fear our own imagination, death is imagined, until it finally comes, and then.. who knows?

What if we are but a shell for the real Self? will you not die, so that He/She could live? Would you quicken your death, so that the new can rise faster? Would it be ready? Would you sit still, anguished by the fact that you are not "the most perfect, but a step towards it?". Or would you simply try to develop yourself as much as possible, taking your time, maturing day by day, expanding your horizons... so that, each day, a newer and better self is born. Would you not let go of old thought patterns and belief systems that restrict your life? Should you not bring death to them? Would you feel guilty as you let go of poisonous attachments? No, be without mercy, death comes to all, re-direct it at those things that should die first,
so that only that which is in your highest interest is preserved, until the very end of time.

So that, when you die, if such a culmination exists, you die at your best, without nothing to regret or fear. The parts of you that fear death are the very parts that "know" are to die first, and are not wanting to let go. Will you have mercy on them? are they not parasites inhibiting your growth? kill them, and re-cycle them, all energy serves evolution, all is re-cycled, even at a psychological level. Every single moment, you give birth and bring death to thoughts, feelings, ideas, words, actions. If you accept death then you can use it for your own benefit, for your own evolution. That is, you will bring death upon unwanted thought-patterns, relationships, and obsolete structures and concepts.
Then, when you have used and seen the benefits of death yourself, will you get upset when something Higher/Unknown uses it against you? Should the Universe feel guilty when bringing death to a being which is no longer essential? Would you fear this same process which you have already mastered and Know in yourself?



Wow. This answer absolutely blows me away. Great post yet again by Abraxas hehe. Thank you!

It's weird how reading a few things can make you feel a tonne better but god, I do feel much better now.

#5 Guest_Delicate_*

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Posted 30 October 2012 - 05:22 AM

I OCD-ing about things that rational mind can't even prove.


This is exactly it... I do this, all the time.


Now I'm literally obsessed about Michael Newton's books. This guy is probably just a fucking liar but I'm still horrified of things he said. Maybe I really am insane already.


If you were insane you wouldn't question being insane, you would be in cloud cuckoo land, away with the fairies, oblivious to your own weirdness. If you know you're weird, you ain't really that weird :P It definitely sounds like just obsessive thoughts.

#6 Abraxas

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Posted 30 October 2012 - 08:53 AM

I get through almost every religion there is and every of the afterlife they are offering seems horrifying. I think that to just stop existing is the best solution that could be, and yet I'm still obsessed about all this spiritual bullshit like Moksha or Nirvana. I don't really understand why, instead of being atheist, I OCD-ing about things that rational mind can't even prove. Now I'm literally obsessed about Michael Newton's books. This guy is probably just a fucking liar but I'm still horrified of things he said. Maybe I really am insane already.


hey man, i really know what you mean. At some point 99% of my DPD was due to obsessing about "Samsara", the Buddhist notion of cycles of birth and death. And I would obsess about the meaning of Nirvana, and think that DPD was actually a step forward and that i should not try to re-cover my sense of self, as this would re-attach me to samsara, I would "lose the chance" to free myself.

My honest advice is that you stop reading about spirituality/religion. Specially new age, stay away from it. There is a lot, a lot of shit around, even, specially the best-sellers. A sick society buys sick books.

#7 Abraxas

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Posted 30 October 2012 - 06:40 PM

It leads nowhere

#8 Abraxas

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Posted 31 October 2012 - 12:10 PM

I know a lot of buddhists that have normal job and families, so practice doesn't have to get in the way of living your life. Isn't embracing who you are now true meaning of living in present?


I don't know, what do you feel about it?





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