DP/DR daily symptoms - The Daily Forum - Depersonalization Community

Jump to content


Please Read the Community Forum Guidelines Before Posting.


Photo

DP/DR daily symptoms


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 ParaSpeed

ParaSpeed

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 73 posts

Posted 22 June 2012 - 01:45 AM

can anyone relate to these sensations?

1) Constant feeling of detachment, cut off from own experience, feeling foggy, feeling as if you don't know where you are, but you do

2) Feelings of disconnectedness/unfamiliarity, feeling distant and dreamlike sensations, as if i am not in the present, feels as my body is just doing
things but my mind is disconnected, far away...sort of on autopilot (robotic) feeling.

3) Can only describe the foggy feeling similar to the sensation when staring at something for a long time without blinking or moving the eyes…difficult.

4) Visual disturbance (perception) as if my I'm viewing the world through water, sort of fragmented vision...as in this image but without the blurriness

http://www.google.co...O-g_TBCw&zoom=1

5) Sometimes seeing flashing lights in dark places and when eyes closed

6) Tearful almost everyday and feelings of dread, hopelessness, have lost all motivation

7) Feel mentally drained, feeling of tight band around head and neck tension

8] Feeling restless and sometimes feelings of trembling in body (internally)

9) Feeling dizzy/light headed/unsteady and often feel cold, chilliness

10) Sometimes sensitivity to light and sounds

11) High pitched Tinnitus

Thanks

#2 LizzyB

LizzyB

    Advanced Member

  • DPSH Members
  • 30 posts

Posted 22 June 2012 - 07:41 AM

yep, that it. tough living this way but be of good cheer :-)

#3 ParaSpeed

ParaSpeed

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 73 posts

Posted 22 June 2012 - 09:55 AM

yep, that it. tough living this way but be of good cheer :-)

thanks lizzy

#4 fighter

fighter

    Newbie

  • DPSH Members
  • Pip
  • 19 posts

Posted 22 June 2012 - 09:57 PM

Paraspeed,
Your post describes exactly what i have been going through since last year. If you read my first post, I went through
an extremely stressful time last February. Basically, (as silly as this sounds) artificial hormones screwed up my chemistry and made me feel "no love" towards anyone I once was close to. My instinct was to fight whatever this weird feeling was, and fighting it is an understatement. I searched my mind for an answer to what was happening to me. How does a person explain they can't feel love anymore?! I was horrified. After 2 months of fighting this and trying to regain my sanity and normal self, I detached from reality. My mind retreated, but my body was still here. My vision was all messed up. I remember one afternoon when I was outside and I felt a barrier form between my eyes and the world. I was no longer connected to anything. The vivid colors were gone, and my emotional connection was gone. I was shocked that I had no control over what my mind was doing. It was protecting me from the emotional pain I was experiencing. I lost all feelings in my heart and mind. I was numb. My voice also still sounds distant to me, like the emotion behind what I am saying is not there. Also, I have had the (tight band around head) sensation for a year---it is very uncomfortable and frustrating. I am still numb over a year later, but I am relieved to know I have overcome the worst of it.

I have also experienced the feeling of not being "here" when everyone is talking around me--it's like something just doesn't seem right. The one thing that bothers me the most is how my perception of loved ones is now. I am not the same person I used to be, and the way I see my mom, dad, husband, etc. is way off. They look the same, but the deep level of connection/attachment is not there. I have tried to explain this to people, and all i get is a confused look. I just miss how I used to feel, and am afraid that this altered/disturbing state will remain for a while. I do hope you recover soon from this. I do not wish this on anyone.

#5 ParaSpeed

ParaSpeed

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 73 posts

Posted 23 June 2012 - 04:57 AM

Paraspeed,
Your post describes exactly what i have been going through since last year. If you read my first post, I went through
an extremely stressful time last February. Basically, (as silly as this sounds) artificial hormones screwed up my chemistry and made me feel "no love" towards anyone I once was close to. My instinct was to fight whatever this weird feeling was, and fighting it is an understatement. I searched my mind for an answer to what was happening to me. How does a person explain they can't feel love anymore?! I was horrified. After 2 months of fighting this and trying to regain my sanity and normal self, I detached from reality. My mind retreated, but my body was still here. My vision was all messed up. I remember one afternoon when I was outside and I felt a barrier form between my eyes and the world. I was no longer connected to anything. The vivid colors were gone, and my emotional connection was gone. I was shocked that I had no control over what my mind was doing. It was protecting me from the emotional pain I was experiencing. I lost all feelings in my heart and mind. I was numb. My voice also still sounds distant to me, like the emotion behind what I am saying is not there. Also, I have had the (tight band around head) sensation for a year---it is very uncomfortable and frustrating. I am still numb over a year later, but I am relieved to know I have overcome the worst of it.

I have also experienced the feeling of not being "here" when everyone is talking around me--it's like something just doesn't seem right. The one thing that bothers me the most is how my perception of loved ones is now. I am not the same person I used to be, and the way I see my mom, dad, husband, etc. is way off. They look the same, but the deep level of connection/attachment is not there. I have tried to explain this to people, and all i get is a confused look. I just miss how I used to feel, and am afraid that this altered/disturbing state will remain for a while. I do hope you recover soon from this. I do not wish this on anyone.

Thanks fighter
i'm sorry you had to through all that, but glad to hear the worst is over for you...did you do anything to help recovery or did it just start to fade on its own?
do you still feel disconnected ?...and have your visual symptoms subsided?
Thanks

#6 fighter

fighter

    Newbie

  • DPSH Members
  • Pip
  • 19 posts

Posted 23 June 2012 - 08:13 AM

I have to be honest. 8 months ago was the worst of it. I was scared of everything- of getting out of the house, of going places, seeing people i was once comfortable around-- because I was going through hell in my mind and didn't want to see other people being normal and happy. I hated the symptoms so much and thought about it constantly, which made it worse. Over time, I surrendered to it, and went about my normal routine everyday. Even though I felt weird around my family, i still made myself go to family get-togethers. To answer your question: I have noticed it has faded over this past year (almost like I went through stages). At its worst, I felt like my mind/soul were pulled back from my body. Also, my mind could not keep up with time--I have researched this and they call it delayed perception. That was very scary and it lasted for about a month. Sometimes, I would even observe everything around me as if it were a movie (and I was not a part of it.) This was very disturbing and I think by fearing the sensations, I made them ten times worse. I have accepted this for what it is and accepting it has helped relieve some of the obvious symptoms, like the impaired vision. I still feel disconnected, but i feel i can see more clearly, instead of that horrible veil/barrier i was experiencing. I take vitamin b12, but I have not taken any antidepressants.

Despite all of the mental anguish I have been through, I found that I gained some control over the dp by facing it and saying "If I could survive all of this--the numbness, the panic attacks, the sense of detachment--then I am much stronger than I thought i was and it can't hurt me or kill me." I hope this helps you in some way. It is awful to go through and very hard to have patience with.

#7 ParaSpeed

ParaSpeed

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 73 posts

Posted 23 June 2012 - 09:47 AM

I have to be honest. 8 months ago was the worst of it. I was scared of everything- of getting out of the house, of going places, seeing people i was once comfortable around-- because I was going through hell in my mind and didn't want to see other people being normal and happy. I hated the symptoms so much and thought about it constantly, which made it worse. Over time, I surrendered to it, and went about my normal routine everyday. Even though I felt weird around my family, i still made myself go to family get-togethers. To answer your question: I have noticed it has faded over this past year (almost like I went through stages). At its worst, I felt like my mind/soul were pulled back from my body. Also, my mind could not keep up with time--I have researched this and they call it delayed perception. That was very scary and it lasted for about a month. Sometimes, I would even observe everything around me as if it were a movie (and I was not a part of it.) This was very disturbing and I think by fearing the sensations, I made them ten times worse. I have accepted this for what it is and accepting it has helped relieve some of the obvious symptoms, like the impaired vision. I still feel disconnected, but i feel i can see more clearly, instead of that horrible veil/barrier i was experiencing. I take vitamin b12, but I have not taken any antidepressants.

Despite all of the mental anguish I have been through, I found that I gained some control over the dp by facing it and saying "If I could survive all of this--the numbness, the panic attacks, the sense of detachment--then I am much stronger than I thought i was and it can't hurt me or kill me." I hope this helps you in some way. It is awful to go through and very hard to have patience with.

thanks Fighter
i guess the trick is to try and live with the symptoms, which i find very hard especially the dreamlike/disconnected/far away feeling...causes me lots of anxiety
did you ever experience tinnitus or dizziness/light headedness or inner ear problems etc? (sorry for asking so many questions, you've been very kind, much appreciated)
thanks
PS couldn't find your post.

#8 fighter

fighter

    Newbie

  • DPSH Members
  • Pip
  • 19 posts

Posted 23 June 2012 - 11:25 AM

My post is under "There is still hope" about a month ago, the 5th or 6th one. It's interesting that you ask about the dizziness and ear problems. Yes, I have been struggling with clogged ears/popping since this started. It's like I am under water and can't hear quite clearly as I used to. I hate this so much. And I have also had 2 ear infections in my left ear since last summer. The dizziness was really bad when I had all that anxiety and worrying about what was wrong with me. The worrying seemed to set if off. I am still doing research on how all of these symptoms are related, but I still haven't figured out why my ears feel clogged. I have a theory, but not sure if it's right. I think once I went inward and dissociated from reality, all of my sensations, especially sight and hearing, were dulled and muffled in a sense. This explains the barrier in my vision that I had and the unclear hearing.

What was the cause of your symptoms?

#9 ParaSpeed

ParaSpeed

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 73 posts

Posted 24 June 2012 - 05:11 AM

My post is under "There is still hope" about a month ago, the 5th or 6th one. It's interesting that you ask about the dizziness and ear problems. Yes, I have been struggling with clogged ears/popping since this started. It's like I am under water and can't hear quite clearly as I used to. I hate this so much. And I have also had 2 ear infections in my left ear since last summer. The dizziness was really bad when I had all that anxiety and worrying about what was wrong with me. The worrying seemed to set if off. I am still doing research on how all of these symptoms are related, but I still haven't figured out why my ears feel clogged. I have a theory, but not sure if it's right. I think once I went inward and dissociated from reality, all of my sensations, especially sight and hearing, were dulled and muffled in a sense. This explains the barrier in my vision that I had and the unclear hearing.

What was the cause of your symptoms?

hi fighter
well, here is how it all started:
1) October 2010 my father passed away, felt very bereaved, tearful a lot for a long time.
2) About 6 months later, around May 2011, I developed tinnitus and lots of tension around the head (like a tight band feeling) and neck tension.
3) I searched on the Internet for causes/cures of tinnitus constantly for days on end and assumed the worse (brain tumour), I worried about this for weeks on end, and this made me anxious.
4) Finally I went to see my GP about the tinnitus who suggested an MRI scan, and whilst waiting for the appointment (another few weeks) I felt quite anxious.
5) October 2011 had MRI scan, this came back normal.
6) Around November 2011 (and again in April 2012) had blood tests done (thyroid function etc), all came back normal.
7) GP suggested anti-depressants in Dec 2011 (Citalopram 30mg)
8] Took these for about 3 months, had side-effects but no improvements in symptoms.
9) Stopped medication 1st March 2012, had many withdrawal symptoms*

...so all the symptoms i mentioned earlier have around since Aug 2011...
do you think all these symptoms/sensations are stemming from anxiety/depression?

have you had any tests done...what does your Doc say about how you feel?
thanks

oh, could you relate to that image i posted earlier regarding visual symptoms?

#10 fighter

fighter

    Newbie

  • DPSH Members
  • Pip
  • 19 posts

Posted 24 June 2012 - 11:14 AM

I did have an MRI brain done last October, it was normal. I have had thyroid tests done, also, they were normal. I do think all of this is caused by depression somehow and not anything physical, like a tumor or disease.

I can relate to your image because I did experience the blurred vision, but there was another element that I can't seem to describe very well. It was almost like my brain could not process everything around me, therefore I could not make sense of objects and I felt very distant from things going on around me. I could not absorb the information--lights, colors, people, nature. My brain had been overwhelmed by all the stress and worrying that it shut down for a while, preventing me from taking everything in.

#11 Thidwick

Thidwick

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 104 posts
  • LocationJonesboro, AR

Posted 24 June 2012 - 08:55 PM

It's 100% mental. I would suggest against analyzing yourself daily. Try not to think to much about how normal you feel -- your idea of "normal" will fluctuate relative to how you've felt the past couple of days. Just try to block it out. This doesn't mean that you literally ignore and forget about DP. You'll be aware that it's there, but just keep it pushed to the side and focus on other things. It's hard to recover when you're too caught up about the individual symptoms and when you have them and when you don't.

#12 ParaSpeed

ParaSpeed

    Regular Contributor

  • DPSH Members
  • 73 posts

Posted 25 June 2012 - 01:56 AM

It's 100% mental. I would suggest against analyzing yourself daily. Try not to think to much about how normal you feel -- your idea of "normal" will fluctuate relative to how you've felt the past couple of days. Just try to block it out. This doesn't mean that you literally ignore and forget about DP. You'll be aware that it's there, but just keep it pushed to the side and focus on other things. It's hard to recover when you're too caught up about the individual symptoms and when you have them and when you don't.

Thidwick,
Thank you very much. For me the distant/disconnected/far away feeling is always present.
Just so that I’ve understood you correctly, are you saying that the brain returns these sensations every time I "check in" to see if they are still there?
...and to get out of this state is via distraction (even though it feels so uncomfortable)?
Is this what DP/DR is all about? hyperawarness? (these sensations do cause me anxiety)
Much appreciated.
Thanks
Para

PS: can low mood/depression lead to DP/Dr?




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users