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I'm finally cured


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#13 Quarter Pounder

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Posted 11 January 2012 - 11:38 PM

Well, I really don't know if my DP/DR is on the same page than most people here.

I do engage with life, don't get me wrong, I am "living my life", I have good friends and I have a girlfriend, I'm doing great in college so some people might even call me successful. But even if things look good for me, since the panic attack I had 3 years ago, they are no good at all. In fact, I'd be better off dead. So despite all the "visible" things that other people see, deep inside it doesn't matter because I feel miserable. And I completely understand how depersonalization and derealization works, but it's not about having a positive outlook for me, all I have are phsyical symptoms that affect my mind and I can't change them by thinking in one way or another.

I don't know... Sometimes it feels like I have lung cancer and I'm trying to argue with people with chest pain.

#14 Overloaded

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Posted 12 January 2012 - 01:03 AM

It actually left 100% or you just don't pay attention to it anymore (meaning its still there)?

#15 mattv30

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Posted 12 January 2012 - 01:50 AM

quarterpounder....what are your physical symptoms? My main symptoms were having memory problems and not thinking clearly, at first my symptoms were like constant fear and panic for no reason at all. I was afraid of my family, kids, and couldn't understand why. They even felt foreign to me, like I didn't know who they were. That terrified me so much that I hardly left the house, and when I did it was to get alcohol or go do something I had to do. I couldn't concentrate on anything for the life of me, conversations, tv, anything. Sometimes things looked very weird, so there were some DR symptoms. Oh, and this was chronic 24/7, as well as I had no emotions at all. there is a site called anxietynomore, google it and you will find plenty that have recovered from physical and the mental symptoms as well. The main guy who wrote the book and keeps an ongoing blog for people to write on suffered for 10 years with DP, and it was as bad as mine. He completely recovered as well as alot of others. Go back and read the old blogs on his site and you'll see. There are also success stories in his book and on the site.

The physical symptoms can and will go away, but you have to not care about it. I know, it's hard as hell and seems impossible, but it isn't. It took me three months to fully recover from it, so it was slow and painful, but not nearly as long as some others that recovered. But, the main things I did was not obsess and not worry. Now, that doesn't mean that I just stopped thinking about it, but because I had formed a habit of thinking about it, I had to change it. All I was looking for at first was progress, not total recovery. When I started to progress I realized that I was getting better and naturally my personality started to come back and my thinking became more outwards instead of inwards. I held onto those moments as positive indicators that I can get better. Some days I forgot about it most of the day and some days it was 24/7 again, but I didn't worry and obsess, just moved on with my day. Eventually, it just went away like it was never there. I know that sounds weird, but from everyone i've talked to that had DP they experienced the same thing.

Oh, and I also suffered my first panic attack 3 years ago and became agoraphobic then. It took me awhile to get through it, but from that I developed GAD and social anxiety. My DP stemmed from constantly worrying about myself, so it came from panic and anxiety. It is an uphill battle, but it did go away for me. I just had to be patient and believe in myself. Those were the two things I kept with me, no matter how bad it was when recovering. I did recover from dp 100%, but still have anxiety. The anxiety is about school and work and normal stuff, not about DP because i'm not scared of it anymore. That was also a biggie for me, to lose the fear of it. Listen, I know people suffered for a lot longer then I did and have convinced themselves that there is no way out, but there is, there truly is a way out. It's slow and painful, but when you get to the other side of it, life is unbelievable!!! I felt like I was living in a horror movie, and now life has this new meaning that is hard to describe. I love it, and all the things I worried about before DP, I don't care about anymore because coming through that hell made me realize that finances, relationships, the petty problems I dealt with are nothing compared to that hell. If I don't have myself then what do I have? I also couldn't understand what in the hell I was so worried about coming through DP also. I laugh at some of the things now that I used to worry and obsess over while in the DP state.

you have to start believing in yourself because if at one time you didn't have DP then it's not like you can't be yourself again. At one point in my life I never had issues with anxiety or panic attacks, but after suffering with that for awhile it was hard to imagine life without it. DP is the same thing, I couldn't imagine my life without it. But now that I don't have it, I am pursuing my own dreams in life that i've always wanted to do, like i've always wanted to write a book, not a dp book, but a fictional novel. So I am doing that and am going to finish it this time. Anyways, i'm sorry you guys are still suffering, I really am, but I also KNOW that anyone on here can recover. But you guys need to stop with the posts like, "what are the different ways you tried to kill yourself?" and crap like that, it isn't a life sentence.

quarterpounder....you're trying to see yourself as someone who is unique and different, you aren't. The physical symptoms that have affected your mind can be changed, it's not like it can't be undone. If you didn't have DP 3 years ago and didn't have issues with panic, anxiety, etc. then what makes you think you can't be back to your normal self? You are believing your own bs, just like I was believing my own bs. I convinced myself that I was worse then anyone on this site or anyone in the entire world that had DP. That is your mind playing tricks on you, that is the DP and anxiety playing tricks on you. I had the same negative, weird thoughts and thought I was the only one that had these thoughts. It's not just about a positive outlook, it's about changing the contents of your thoughts altogether. It's hard, but it can be done. The way I did it was reconnecting with reality by being a part of it, and eventually the thoughts went away when I realized that it is all dp/anxiety thoughts, they can't hurt me so I stopped caring about the stupid thoughts I got and they lost their power over me completely. It stems from an over-tired mind, so there will be unusual thoughts that pop up, so the mind isn't as resilient anymore. Little by little you'll be yourself again, but you have to stop with the negativity and carry on even if you are miserable, feel odd, lost, etc. Anyways, i've said enough for tonight I guess, good luck to everyone!

#16 losingme

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 12:02 PM

mattv30

Thank you for your positive words. These DP groups seems so hopeless sometimes.
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#17 dalailama15

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 11:09 PM

If I could go back in time and talk to myself when this first started happening, I would tell myself exactly the knds of things matt is talking about. I would tell myself, among other things: You're in trouble, but don't freak out. Hammer it with behaviorism. Do what you know you should be doing regardless of how it feels or doesn't feel. Don't obsess about what seems to be missing, but have some faith that it is still there. Because It is overwhelmngly likely that it, in fact, is.

And understand this: self-contempt is both volitional and, to you now, poisonous.

I believe this enough that now, a frightening number of years later, I have a sudden and, for me, unusual sense of hope that it is still not too late.

Anyway.

#18 Tilly223

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Posted 21 January 2012 - 02:30 AM

Haha, exactly. Let's be honest here, the guy didn't recover because he did all that stuff (nothing new by the way, it's the same post every time) but because his brain alone recovered.
If your brain doesn't want to recover, you can't do much about it... For those who had this >2 years, don't fool yourselves with this "self-help" guides, you're fucked.

Your little negative outburst there doesn't apply to everyone Quarter Pounder. Not everyone's DP/DR are caused by the same thing. Matt's experience and methods of healing worked for him and may work for others. Your Dp/Dr might be caused by something else that can only be cured by drugs who knows. You might be a troll with no dp/Dr. I would listen to the man and try to learn something from him instead of trying to bring others down fair enough?

#19 Mekt3

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Posted 05 November 2012 - 07:40 AM

Im glad i came across this post, nothing better than to read uplifting stories and positive words when going through this dp. I felt so much better and it reasured me that i am definatly on my way and i am doing the right things to feel like myself again. There are some forums and posts i choose not to read as they can make you feel even worse, and take you back to square one. I think developing a more positive attitude towards it is an important step, i dont know why someone would join a selfhelp site in hopes to get better and yet their words and attitudes are completely negative and unhelpful. If you listen you may just learn something and might just start to get somewhere.

Thank you for those, it has helped me :)


#20 xxmdogxx

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Posted 05 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

Sorry but your attitude stinks.


hes right so many of you guys have a level 1 DP and trust me if you had level 5 like me youd be pissed off at the world too

#21 Fernoso716

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Posted 05 November 2012 - 10:47 AM

And some wonder why progression Neva came. So they wanna bring everyone down with them lol no THAT'S how the world really works. NOBODY knows how the world works...so many have tried so just give up with the bs theory's. if this person feel there cured and it's inspiring others to have HOPE...then take ur negativity somewhere else....and congrats to those who have beat this...or are on the right path

#22 Dexter42

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Posted 05 November 2012 - 10:49 AM

Funny, I wasn't aware there were levels of DP......Fascinating...yet again.

#23 timzie

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Posted 05 November 2012 - 11:39 AM

mattv congrats on your recovery, i dont have anxiety or panic attacks but have Dp DR and try to go outside but just feel depressed, mine came through alcohol...any advice?

#24 Fernoso716

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Posted 05 November 2012 - 12:56 PM

Ikr




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