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I think this is what I am going through


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#1 Pablo

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 05:25 PM

I read this response on another forum to someone who is having long term reactions like anxiety and mental issues to a bad drug experience.


"You have opened the door. You have started the process. You are in the middle of a healing. Once you start this process, you can't go back to where you were before the healing began.

You are on a path of healing, and, whether you understand this at the conscious level or not, at the Soul level you gave permission for this. That is because your Soul wants to be healed, and felt that the time has come to be healed. Your Soul wants to shed all the encrusted layers of personality-level issues that keep it from shining through.

Your Soul knew that, once the process started, the personality level would react in fear and try to fight against the process.

But if the personality level were to succeed in stopping the process, that would mean you would be stuck. Once the healing process has begun, you cannot go back to where you were before. So if you are afraid to go forward, then you will remain stuck where you are. Like crawling through a tunnel that leads out of prison, but getting paralyzed by fear and unable to go forward. You can't go backwards back into prison, but you haven't achieved liberation and freedom yet. Instead, you are stuck on the tunnel, deep in the underground depths.

That is what is meant when it is said that some people have developed psychoses as a result of taking entheogens. Developing psychoses is a perfectly normal part of the process -- as long as they are temporary. But the danger is that Fear will try to stop the process. And if it succeeds in making you stop, then you are left stuck, in a state where the doors have been opened to let all your problems and issues come out, but they are not being healed; you are stuck in the middle of them.

The only way out is through.

But at the Soul level, you gave permission for this process to start, because at the Soul level you had faith in yourself, faith in your own courage.

You need to have major periods of quiet and solitude. When you are opened like this, the insanity of the world can be so unbearable that you have no chance to do the deep work. I don't know what your situation is, job or school or family or what. At the very least, when you are not at work or whatever, when you are at home, you can get rid of television, radio, internet entertainment, etc. If you have a family living with you, they will just have to accept that you need quiet and solitude, and that even if they hear you scream and cry they should leave you alone. Light candles, smudge, sit up and allow yourself to think and feel and see everything. Write about it or draw pictures if you want to."


I think this describes exactly what i'm going through, can anyone else relate?

#2 surf

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 06:52 PM

Yeah definitely

#3 Victor Ouriques

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Posted 01 August 2011 - 07:30 PM

Sometimes i feel like this,I Like the part where it says that we need solitude sometimes.

Yeah I don't know why but I like to cry,kinda cleans my soul.

So I was crying everyday,but an induced cry.Like uh..i put a music that really hits me and let all that fear,those chains that are in me go away.

I Doesn't even feel DR/DP,the unique thing is the existential thoughts that sometimes hits me.

#4 Guest_Lowrey_*

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Posted 02 August 2011 - 02:47 AM

I read this response on another forum to someone who is having long term reactions like anxiety and mental issues to a bad drug experience.


"You have opened the door. You have started the process. You are in the middle of a healing. Once you start this process, you can't go back to where you were before the healing began.

You are on a path of healing, and, whether you understand this at the conscious level or not, at the Soul level you gave permission for this. That is because your Soul wants to be healed, and felt that the time has come to be healed. Your Soul wants to shed all the encrusted layers of personality-level issues that keep it from shining through.

Your Soul knew that, once the process started, the personality level would react in fear and try to fight against the process.

But if the personality level were to succeed in stopping the process, that would mean you would be stuck. Once the healing process has begun, you cannot go back to where you were before. So if you are afraid to go forward, then you will remain stuck where you are. Like crawling through a tunnel that leads out of prison, but getting paralyzed by fear and unable to go forward. You can't go backwards back into prison, but you haven't achieved liberation and freedom yet. Instead, you are stuck on the tunnel, deep in the underground depths.

That is what is meant when it is said that some people have developed psychoses as a result of taking entheogens. Developing psychoses is a perfectly normal part of the process -- as long as they are temporary. But the danger is that Fear will try to stop the process. And if it succeeds in making you stop, then you are left stuck, in a state where the doors have been opened to let all your problems and issues come out, but they are not being healed; you are stuck in the middle of them.

The only way out is through.

But at the Soul level, you gave permission for this process to start, because at the Soul level you had faith in yourself, faith in your own courage.

You need to have major periods of quiet and solitude. When you are opened like this, the insanity of the world can be so unbearable that you have no chance to do the deep work. I don't know what your situation is, job or school or family or what. At the very least, when you are not at work or whatever, when you are at home, you can get rid of television, radio, internet entertainment, etc. If you have a family living with you, they will just have to accept that you need quiet and solitude, and that even if they hear you scream and cry they should leave you alone. Light candles, smudge, sit up and allow yourself to think and feel and see everything. Write about it or draw pictures if you want to."


I think this describes exactly what i'm going through, can anyone else relate?


definetely. sounds a lil bit too spiritual but makes sense

#5 Totally DP'D

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Posted 02 August 2011 - 09:02 AM

replace the psychosis with neurosis and it makes more sense. It is certainly true that you can't go back to how you were before, because who you were developed DP/DR. If you went back to who you were it could happen again.
Besides which, I'm now 47 - how could I possibly go back to how I was when I was 17?

#6 Pablo

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Posted 02 August 2011 - 04:54 PM

I think a part of me wants to go back to childhood, maybe even the womb, somehow I have to let it go and accept and only look ahead

I'm not sure about the spiritual connotations of the soul as i'm more buddhist thinking, yet there does seem to be a part of me bigger than the personality which seeks healing and wants things to be better, otherwise I would probably commit suicide. Part of me was never happy with the constraints the shackles my personality put upon me and wanted things to be more expansive and to break free, to be happy and more free. If all I am is my personality or ego then life is dead already.

#7 snow storm

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Posted 02 March 2012 - 12:39 PM

I read this response on another forum to someone who is having long term reactions like anxiety and mental issues to a bad drug experience.


"You have opened the door. You have started the process. You are in the middle of a healing. Once you start this process, you can't go back to where you were before the healing began.

You are on a path of healing, and, whether you understand this at the conscious level or not, at the Soul level you gave permission for this. That is because your Soul wants to be healed, and felt that the time has come to be healed. Your Soul wants to shed all the encrusted layers of personality-level issues that keep it from shining through.

Your Soul knew that, once the process started, the personality level would react in fear and try to fight against the process.

But if the personality level were to succeed in stopping the process, that would mean you would be stuck. Once the healing process has begun, you cannot go back to where you were before. So if you are afraid to go forward, then you will remain stuck where you are. Like crawling through a tunnel that leads out of prison, but getting paralyzed by fear and unable to go forward. You can't go backwards back into prison, but you haven't achieved liberation and freedom yet. Instead, you are stuck on the tunnel, deep in the underground depths.

That is what is meant when it is said that some people have developed psychoses as a result of taking entheogens. Developing psychoses is a perfectly normal part of the process -- as long as they are temporary. But the danger is that Fear will try to stop the process. And if it succeeds in making you stop, then you are left stuck, in a state where the doors have been opened to let all your problems and issues come out, but they are not being healed; you are stuck in the middle of them.

The only way out is through.

But at the Soul level, you gave permission for this process to start, because at the Soul level you had faith in yourself, faith in your own courage.

You need to have major periods of quiet and solitude. When you are opened like this, the insanity of the world can be so unbearable that you have no chance to do the deep work. I don't know what your situation is, job or school or family or what. At the very least, when you are not at work or whatever, when you are at home, you can get rid of television, radio, internet entertainment, etc. If you have a family living with you, they will just have to accept that you need quiet and solitude, and that even if they hear you scream and cry they should leave you alone. Light candles, smudge, sit up and allow yourself to think and feel and see everything. Write about it or draw pictures if you want to."


I think this describes exactly what i'm going through, can anyone else relate?


I think it's an inspiring image. I think one of the most valuable things we can do is to encourage and inspire each other so that we can find the courage within to go on with the process we are in the middle of.




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