And thanks Kate for putting it in a short and sweet manner.
I know I carry on, but I like to share EVIDENCE of where I got my opinion.
I've been on this forum for a year and a half now and see you post the same things over and over, like a broken record. Not sure how else to put this without sounding offensive - I don't intend to do any harm.
But I'm just curious, and maybe you have the answer, maybe you don't - but why is it that you want to believe scientists and journal articles and your NAMI friends instead of the people who are and have already recovered? The people who are and have experienced first hand what it is to come out on the other side?
Just like with Kate, I know you guys have had these disorders for a long time, and if I had it for that long, I would also be extremely skeptical, distrusting, and generally disbelieving of cures and recovery because to believe otherwise would be having to face the harsh realization that I myself haven't been able to recover. Its like a loss of hope that translated into a complacency and acceptance that merely perpetuates the problem.
HOWEVER - I don't think there is anything you can do about it, honestly. Considering that the right brain, the logical, self soothing, self controlling part of the brain that has learn to selfregulate based on the needs of the child has not developed properly. In other words, if you have attachment issues, which is more than likely, you can't be rational, recognize yourself, or talk back to yourself. Without this ability, overcoming any mental disorder would be nearly impossible. Relating to other people would be impossible.
Its as if the medical journals, articles, and all that has become "your voice." Your protection. Your secure base. Your mother.
I have seen little to no posts on here that come from "you" - that talk about you.
Sandy - I ask you three questions
1. Do you believe anymore that you can recover?
2. Do you believe that you can form a sense of self after decades of this loss of self?
3. And the most important question of all - do you want to? I mean, deep down, do you really want to?
There is no doubt that that change and recovery is HARD. Just like it is hard for a child to grow up, and to develop a sense of self. There are obstacles. Challenges. Heartbreaks. Confusion. Recovery will not be easy. And to leave behind years and decades of mental anguish is like parting with a good friend. You are used to it.
In my recovery I have experienced both great joy and great pain. To have suffered for so long and realizing that I don't have to suffer anymore is a hard thing to come to terms with. I am used to suffering. I am used to relying on others to "Help me." I became accustomed to the idea that recovery was indeed not possible, that I had to accept my condition, and that I would never lead a normal life. The hardest part of all has been forgiving those people who originally I thought were to blame for my illness - all those in my life that made me feel shame, guilt, etc.
My parents for not loving me enough. Which, at the end of the day, I realize is subjective. Everyone tries their hardest.
I would love to discuss this with you without alluding to medical and scientific journals, if possible, or if interested.