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What is DP/DR like for you?


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#937 xCharlieSkull

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Posted 14 July 2016 - 08:43 PM

It feels like I can't see anything at all and all I can see is black. My mind can't accept that I can really see anything around me. I'm just stuck in a huge black space, totally alone. I also feel that I don't exist and everything is just black. Whenever I do something, it doesn't feel like I'm doing anything. Sometimes I get that feeling that my eyes are coming out of their places. It's one of the worst feelings ever. I also feel that I'm stuck inside my body and want to tear it up and get out.

I can experience emotions very well though and I believe I have never felt numb before. They are mostly negative emotions though because that's the person I am. I also daydream all the time and I can picture the scenes moving in my mind very well. I always wonder how that happens though and I sometimes find myself unable to do this ability. It's just so strange that I think all the time while I don't even believe that I exist.
My favorite thing in this world is Music and I can feel it well and enjoy it but when I think about it, it doesn't feel real at all.

I just wonder how did I end up inside myself out of all people in the world. Why am I not someone else? I feel that if I were more lucky, I would have been God.

For so many years, I have never felt that I, or anything around me is real. Not even for a single moment.
I think I don't even care anymore. There are other things in my life that are worse. That's if there's anything as "my life".

#938 JohnRg470

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Posted 18 July 2016 - 07:40 PM

In short, it's been a living hell for 20 years for me...

Good to find a place with other people who understand it...



#939 TheCourier

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Posted 19 July 2016 - 11:23 PM

Dp is what death feels like, I think. It's like drifting in and out of sleep but while I'm awake. I feel so far away, as if I'm not real, as if this world isn't real and that I am not human. I can barely handle it half of the time. Dp makes me wish that I'd never been born.

#940 emptyglass

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 01:33 AM

Makes me feel like things are not in the right place. I'm only observing my body move, maybe somewhat like what I want it to move like, but it never feels like I'm actually moving it.

I have no interests, in anything. Not because I don't want to, but because, I do that interest so vacuously, ephemerally, fleetingly, that it has no effect on me. Maybe I can watch a movie, but I have no opinions about the characters, no opinion about the story.

I literally just copy what appears to be the most logical opinion.

I have no friends. I have (I think) lost confidence in myself because the me that I show cannot at any point in time be possibly me. It feels like I'm fake.

I have offended so many people because of my empty thoughts, that I misunderstood them. I can't think critically for a long period.

Honestly, to others, I might appear wacky and zany, but I am not. Being in a near constant state of depersonalization inhibits my cognitive habits. I do not know how to act normal.

Even as a child, I cannot accept that I am really me. No I didn't do that. No I didn't offend you, but my body somehow is doing it without my permission.

I cannot come into acceptance regarding my state of self consciousness without finding flaws in every characterization of me. Am I even me? My entire life feels like a passive observation.

What I'm saying right now is dry and empty right? Actually, this is how the me I perceive is real writes. All other me's write like an idiot without any kind of self awareness. Regurgitating opinions.

Honestly, it feels like I was just watching a bunch of movies, for a long. Only now did I realize that there's actually a real world.

#941 CoffeeGirl9

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 07:22 AM

Dp is what death feels like, I think. It's like drifting in and out of sleep but while I'm awake. I feel so far away, as if I'm not real, as if this world isn't real and that I am not human. I can barely handle it half of the time. Dp makes me wish that I'd never been born.


Couldn't agree more. Wish I would of never been born. I am no longer a human soul.

#942 Pondererer

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 08:06 AM

Even as a child, I cannot accept that I am really me. No I didn't do that. No I didn't offend you, but my body somehow is doing it without my permission.


Honestly, it feels like I was just watching a bunch of movies, for a long. Only now did I realize that there's actually a real world.

These 2 things combined has had me going through gut wrenching realizations/regrets. Like i can't take anything seriously, because it's all fake right?..



#943 Disruption

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 09:53 AM

Dp is what death feels like, I think. It's like drifting in and out of sleep but while I'm awake. I feel so far away, as if I'm not real, as if this world isn't real and that I am not human. I can barely handle it half of the time. Dp makes me wish that I'd never been born.

 

Couldn't agree more. Wish I would of never been born. I am no longer a human soul.

 

(death doesnt exist its just what humanity calls it to be no longer ''existent'') ''death'' is pure relief and enlightment...pure love...dp/dr is actually the opposite..a false perception of reality that leads one to many dead ends and wrong conclusions...i still have these episodes where i think this way..but i know its not true..its just easier to judge like this if you feel this way..



#944 elireddy

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Posted 21 July 2016 - 11:56 AM

i have a question


what is it when, you just feel spaced out, have visual distortions, things seem strange & occasional obsessional thoughts?

I feel like it is all those things. Do you mean visual distortions like things seem far away?



#945 ro_hill2

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Posted 26 July 2016 - 10:08 AM

Hi everyone,

 

A while ago I experienced feelings of depersonalisation and it very much freaked me out/scared me, mainly because I read blogs like this that did little to reassure me.

 

Therefore, I am writing to tell everyone who reads this in a state of panic that it is OK, and it is nothing more than anxiety displaying itself physically.

 

My symptoms felt like I was a bit dizzy, couldn't really focus on anything, and I felt out of my body, like sounds weren't real and I just felt a bit 'out of it'.

 

The one thing that makes this worse, is focussing on how you feel. The only way to get it to go away is to distract yourself, and to not worry.

 

The chances are if you feel like this, you are suffering from underlying stress, panic attacks, anxiety. For me, it was GAD (generalised anxiety disorder), which doctors didn't understand how to diagnose.

 

PLEASE don't think you are "mental", "going insane", going to be locked up in an institute. These symptoms are normal and just the body displaying it's 'fight or flight' response.

 

The things I found that helped were:

-Exercise - I can't stress this enough how important it is. For me, it is the one thing that guarantees to take me out of my head and not focus on how I am feeling or anything else at all. It has also been scientifically proven to help with anxiety, depression, and for me is the best natural reliever and prevents you from taking medication. It is really effective. and free! I would recommend running, swimming, but in particular a team sport such as football, netball, hockey etc. 

 

-No Drugs/Alcohol. I will only drink alcohol when i'm feeling ok. These are two of the worst things for depersonalisation, and I recommend to steer clear until you are feeling better. I particularly found my symptoms worse the day after drinking.

 

-Jigsaw puzzles - a great way to take your mind off how you feel

 

-Building/construction - for me it was adult lego! I felt like a bit of a kid but similar to the jigsaws it takes my mind off things.

 

-Painting/drawing

 

-Walking

 

-Meditation (present moment focus - this doesn't have to include chanting/a religious focus)

 

- Calling someone - the worst thing you can do is go through this on your own. Just have a chat to a friend/family member, and try not to mention how you are feeling, sometimes the distraction and not focussing on your own symptoms can help.

 

-Do something you know you enjoy and have put off

 

-Music - if you're feeling down put something upbeat on you can sing along too. If you're anxious or worried put some chilled music on. Have a dance too!

 

-Force yourself to smile

 

-TV - can help but don't overuse this. put on a comedy show for 30 minutes. 

 

-Think about something completely different - ie. what will I wear tomorrow, what are my plans for this weekend

 

-Vitamin D - being in the sunshine is always good for your body and a great way to relax

 

 

Finally - it is ok to feel like this! I use the technique of 'labelling'. When i'm having a spell of feeling out of it I just say to myself "OK, I'm feeling out of it, but that's alright because it's just anxiety, and this is normal'.  

 

The key is distraction, and not to do things that won't help you. Don't focus on how you're feeling, just tell yourself it's ok and carry on with your day.

 

 

I hope this has been a help to at least one person :)



#946 Lovelybonesxo

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Posted 26 July 2016 - 11:54 PM

I've self diagnosed, but for me this has been going on off and on for years, however recently it has become way way more often. It's scariest when driving. The trees, cars, signs, etc suddenly look flat? Like they have no dimension. And the colors seem more vibrant or dull, I haven't figured out why that varies yet. the steering wheel will feel different than usual, like its the first time I've noticed the way it feels or something. And sometimes I have this weird sense of calm. I'm typically a very high stress driver and constantly cautious of what every one else is doing but this feeling makes me just drive... But it's like auto pilot. Not actually thinking about what I'm doing just going. It's overwhelming to think about even. Aside from driving, weird things happen. My voice doesn't feel sound like my voice anymore sometimes. It feels like I'm watching a movie instead of actively living. The worse is the dream feeling, where I realize it's just a feeling then get sucked back into the dream like state. Can anyone else relate?

#947 leothelion

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Posted 29 August 2016 - 02:16 AM

Hi everyone,
 
A while ago I experienced feelings of depersonalisation and it very much freaked me out/scared me, mainly because I read blogs like this that did little to reassure me.
 
Therefore, I am writing to tell everyone who reads this in a state of panic that it is OK, and it is nothing more than anxiety displaying itself physically.
 
My symptoms felt like I was a bit dizzy, couldn't really focus on anything, and I felt out of my body, like sounds weren't real and I just felt a bit 'out of it'.
 
The one thing that makes this worse, is focussing on how you feel. The only way to get it to go away is to distract yourself, and to not worry.
 
The chances are if you feel like this, you are suffering from underlying stress, panic attacks, anxiety. For me, it was GAD (generalised anxiety disorder), which doctors didn't understand how to diagnose.
 
PLEASE don't think you are "mental", "going insane", going to be locked up in an institute. These symptoms are normal and just the body displaying it's 'fight or flight' response.
 
The things I found that helped were:
-Exercise - I can't stress this enough how important it is. For me, it is the one thing that guarantees to take me out of my head and not focus on how I am feeling or anything else at all. It has also been scientifically proven to help with anxiety, depression, and for me is the best natural reliever and prevents you from taking medication. It is really effective. and free! I would recommend running, swimming, but in particular a team sport such as football, netball, hockey etc. 
 
-No Drugs/Alcohol. I will only drink alcohol when i'm feeling ok. These are two of the worst things for depersonalisation, and I recommend to steer clear until you are feeling better. I particularly found my symptoms worse the day after drinking.
 
-Jigsaw puzzles - a great way to take your mind off how you feel
 
-Building/construction - for me it was adult lego! I felt like a bit of a kid but similar to the jigsaws it takes my mind off things.
 
-Painting/drawing
 
-Walking
 
-Meditation (present moment focus - this doesn't have to include chanting/a religious focus)
 
- Calling someone - the worst thing you can do is go through this on your own. Just have a chat to a friend/family member, and try not to mention how you are feeling, sometimes the distraction and not focussing on your own symptoms can help.
 
-Do something you know you enjoy and have put off
 
-Music - if you're feeling down put something upbeat on you can sing along too. If you're anxious or worried put some chilled music on. Have a dance too!
 
-Force yourself to smile
 
-TV - can help but don't overuse this. put on a comedy show for 30 minutes. 
 
-Think about something completely different - ie. what will I wear tomorrow, what are my plans for this weekend
 
-Vitamin D - being in the sunshine is always good for your body and a great way to relax
 
 
Finally - it is ok to feel like this! I use the technique of 'labelling'. When i'm having a spell of feeling out of it I just say to myself "OK, I'm feeling out of it, but that's alright because it's just anxiety, and this is normal'.  
 
The key is distraction, and not to do things that won't help you. Don't focus on how you're feeling, just tell yourself it's ok and carry on with your day.
 
 
I hope this has been a help to at least one person :)


Absolutely spot on all you say mirrors myself perfectly when im at my worst I just tell myself its dp and carry on as best I can .

 

My view is ...Dp is anxiety related it's when your brain can't handle the anxiety any longer and goes in to sleep mode I've had it all my life . Things to do are to talk about it as much as possible , don't drink alcohol or smoke dope they are the worst things pissible and most importantly accept it and don't fight it that causes more anxiety and prolongs it , also your NOT !! going mad your brain is just protecting itself from huge amounts of and anxiety by desensitizing itself .



#948 happydays123

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Posted 31 August 2016 - 07:15 PM

i think i also experience dr more than dp. my perception goes in and out when i focus on some things and it feels as if i am zooming out when i look someone in the eyes while talking to them. i also feel a growing/shrinking sensation when i am trying to go to sleep before i am tired enough. as for phsyical problems the muscles in my legs tense up briefly but consistently when i feel very self aware and am trying to stay still, such as when i am sitting next to someone. my eyes also twitch and i have a few nervous ticks with my eyes/fingers but i think that is just from anxiety and not dr related...



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