I am Proof (must read)
Posted 09 July 2011 - 12:47 PM
Posted 09 July 2011 - 12:56 PM
The moral? Dont abuse alcohol or drug when you recover and if possible, take care of it now if you feel you cant control your intake.
Posted 15 July 2011 - 09:27 PM
Hello DP/DR community... I recently friended Jeff Abu on Facebook (co-author of Feeling Unreal)and explained to him on how I was planning to return to my old forums (they were many)to offer genuine words of hope and support to those still in the midst of this "abstract veil". In fact, there were many words I used to describe my severe DR... Sub-reality...I got so desperate for answers or an explanation that I once decided I was "chosen" to see the world in a different angle, to see stuff others around me could not. The constant abstract questioning.... what are people, what is a chair, what is language, why do we look so "perfect" as beings and yet we are stuck on this rock in the middle of space/nothingness? These questions would torture me. They were no longer fun to ponder. EVERYTHING freaked me out. I found solice in sleeping....and ?I slept pretty much my 7 years of DP/DR away.... I still managed to hold a part time job and finish college (looking back, I have no idea how I did it but my parents were in denial of my illness and wouldnt accept dropping out as an option). Speaking of parents, I grew up in a highly anxious, loud, and abusive environment. Dad had a short tempter/total narcissist and mom was an enabler and passive/aggressive. We didn't have much family time, unless we were bickering with each other. I think my DP/DR started from dropping Exctasy pills every day for a month...and maybe smoking pot that was laced....No one knows for sure. I was told it could of stemmed from my household and acted as a "defense mechanism", despite the suffering, it was to protect me from my anxious surroundings (hence the "living in a bubble feeling"). I read that people with this illness are usually VERY introspective, analytical, and have a high IQ. For me, I lived in total HELL for 7 years. As an anxious person, the DP/DR made my anxiety hit the roof. Walking outside scared me....I felt the earth was so round and that our atmosphere was a biodome. Everything felt altered.
But it began to decrease in its strength. The sheer fear of the illness itself began to fade as I researched more, took my SSRI, and avoided any illegal drugs of course. Time is what healed me. I always believed the SSRI helped to alleviate the anxiety, but time is what truly got me over this. It was an extremely slow process...as if someone took the recovery remote control and hit "Slow". And as I was shifting slowly back to myself, I was no longer the little teenager that it started with. I was a grown young lady now. Along with my slow ass recovery process, I learned the virtue of patience, the precious opportunity I am given to live my life, my talents, the goodness in people around me, being responsible for MY mental health, and some nifty research skills to boot. I realized how relentless and resourceful I can be, and that I was brave. I also realized human beings are really amazingly resilient when faced with adversity. In a way, I'm thankful for the experience (when I'm not pissed at the amount of years I wasted). Well, not all was lost. I spent my entire 7 years researching my illness and also learned I had HPPD (Hallucinogenic Persisting Perception Disorder) from the E and weed, which caused the visual distortions (that too gets better only with time!)
The good news is, once you feel this veil lifting, you are so overjoyed that you forget how bad you felt. Life just falls back into place. You pick up the pieces are continue on.
I made it a PRIORITY to find the best therapies and meds for me. I would never sit back and deal with it. I was a fighter. You must be too. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT! IT'S NOT FOREVER!
To feel like myself and even better than before, unfortuntately, takes some time. Some take months; others, years. Time is against everyone individually, but we all will experience our outcome one way or another. I made many friends on the forums and even was sent a gift from New Zealand from Mother Hen! You don't forget the journey, but when you do recover, you will find it extremely hard to recall this awful feeling of DP/DR. It's as if it truly was all but a dream. Feel free to drop me a line: [email protected]
YOU WILL ALL OVERCOME THIS. I AM PROOF.
Posted 15 July 2011 - 09:38 PM
Posted 14 August 2011 - 09:59 PM
Great story, looks like I need to start going to the gym.
Posted 02 September 2011 - 03:39 AM
I had periods without dp/dr. Smoking cigarettes sets my dp sky high.
Would be a good idea to go for detailed neurological tests but I have no guts for it (yet)
Posted 18 January 2012 - 09:54 PM
Great story.... gave me chills. Its inspiring and keeps me hopeful that one day I may be able to overcome this too. I've had it for at least 11 years. I had some small periods of time where I had experienced some improvement but mostly have suffered with extremely bad symptoms. Just curious... what SSRI were you taking? Thanks again.
Posted 13 February 2012 - 08:56 PM
I'm sorry that you've had it for so long time, but I'm really glad you are cured now and "back to reality"
I think that this forum almost completely lacks of positive stories. The most posts I simply don't even want to read, because I know it will only makes me feel worse.
Posted 13 February 2012 - 09:02 PM
- sacam7 likes this
Posted 16 February 2012 - 08:50 PM
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