Does DP fragment your sense of personal history?
Posted 14 February 2009 - 08:47 AM
Posted 14 February 2009 - 09:41 AM
It is a horrible part of this, but I have heard it reported as a symptom before. I hate it - I have lived a great life during the time when I have not been ill, it was bad enough it made me suffer in the present but for it to feel like it was taking away what I had in the past is just too much.
You'll feel connected to your past again, don't worry.
Posted 14 February 2009 - 12:14 PM
Posted 21 February 2009 - 08:31 AM
Posted 21 February 2009 - 10:08 AM
Thanks for replies. I haven't heard much about this particular effect of DPD. I find this increasingly severe. It is life to have a continuum of experience within, so it is a challenge to have that missing. The laying down of existence across time is apparently not there. I can tell that if I recovered then memories that aren't now there would be and I could piece together retrospectively but of course it's the emotion and relevance to self that is missing. Yes, life can become habit and going through the motions and I also see the effect of it being like a movie plot. I can speak of memories and then feel like such a liar because I don't own the relevance to myself. I'm coping with it but it is a mean consequence of DPD.
I get the feeling like a liar part so much. I'll be telling things that are entirely truthful and get this overwhelming feeling that I am a liar or a fake. Its horrible.
Posted 21 February 2009 - 11:09 AM
Posted 21 February 2009 - 01:03 PM
It's that experience of "being in the now" that I sometimes can't relate to, and it kind of feels like there is a latent effect in place that only allows me to feel an experience when I replay it in my head, and it's very vivid and lucid. My memory is crystal clear and almost photographic at times, regardless of whether or not I felt completely DP'd when it actually took place. Does this make sense?
Posted 21 February 2009 - 01:49 PM
There are times when I am overpowered by a sense of nostalgia that my past feels more real than the present. I can actually remember distinct feelings as if the past had a totally different feel than the present. Almost feels like I could disappear entirely from the present.
But lately i've had a much more fragmented feeling of the past like discussed in this topic.
Posted 04 March 2009 - 10:12 AM
Events or relationships which have always been important in my life, now seem very insignificant..
I can never seem to take myself back to the times when I know I was full of emotion & feeling.
Posted 05 March 2009 - 10:47 PM
on another forum i was trying to describe when this started and i felt like i had no idea, looked it up, but not properly and i guessed a month back... ther wasnt much questioning about it as i geniunely "feel" i dont know.
then looked again by accident and it was at last one month more than thought.
it sort of feels like 2 months, doesnt feel like how two months should feel. doesnt feel like any sense of time at all... makes sense?
anyway being a bit gross here, but my period started a few days ago, but it didnt "feel" like a month had passed, i genuinely thought i was ill.
its like i have redevelop what time means and feels like to me.
redefine it... i dunno.
Posted 08 March 2009 - 05:48 PM
I am not any age, it is not any year to me. In fact I am amazed what the year is. Also it seems dishonest if I meet someone I 'supposedly' have met before (I'm used to that). Anyway, I am not alarmed, just wearily used to fragmented experience but it does steal life - a sense of being here and across time.
Hey, even some people who don't have DP also experience reality like this.
My past is very shattered and broken up and that's the only way I can describe it. I have different pasts, different realities, not just one past or reality.
Posted 10 March 2009 - 11:28 PM
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