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My DP recovery paradox


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#1 coolwhip27

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Posted 01 February 2021 - 08:11 PM

Are you constantly thinking about your condition? You might be, even if you don’t think so. Sometimes I forget that my constant search of figuring out what’s wrong with me is whats causing my DP. I have a proposal for this, and no it’s not a magical cure or secret to recovery. That doesn’t exist. My proposal is a kind of paradox, because I believe to stop DP is to stop searching for answers to stop it. Stop living in it. But since this is technically an ‘answer’ in itself, it’s pretty contradictory. But that’s ok because you don’t use it like you would as an answer to a question. You use it as a realization to move forward. Now, learning more about DP and browsing this forum is fine. As long as you aren’t doing it for the CAUSE of stopping it. It’s your motivation that matters (in your mind) for stopping this horrible condition. I love all of you even if I don’t know you, because I actually have real sympathy. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Good day everyone

Now I would like to note that none of this is an easy feat to accomplish. If it were we’d all be out of it by now. A real shift in mind and deleting obsession takes time.

#2 Aridity

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Posted 02 February 2021 - 04:58 PM

Couldn't agree more. This is true 



#3 Phantasm

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Posted 03 February 2021 - 04:08 AM

It is a weird paradox, and I agree it's not easy to change as these things become so habitual and automatic. I understood the idea of this a long time ago, but in reality I was always trying to do something. I only ever took it on board partially. 

 

The trouble is the mind is tricksy and draws you back into obsession very easily, so as soon as you start trying to use some kind of method, you quickly find you are back reinforcing the notion that there is something wrong with you.

 

While some interventions might be necessary at times, in general it might be better to abandon all and any methods, on the grounds that if you still feel bad then they haven't worked - Einstein famously said that the definition of madness is to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. This can actually feel like a relief and a weight off your mind immediately because you don't have to keep thinking about what to do, and you adopt a sort of "way of no way," which is the paradox.



#4 coolwhip27

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Posted 05 February 2021 - 12:33 PM

Since this condition is so self perpetuating like that, maybe it would be easier to stop the methods if we just believed there’s nothing wrong with us? Like you, I’ve been aware of this ‘paradox’ for a very long time but still can’t quite put the lid on it and delete this condition. Ah, but here I am, discussing another method. The method of ‘abandoning the methods’ lol. It all takes me back to Eyedea’s song the dive. “The harder you look,, the harder it is to find”

#5 Aridity

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Posted 05 February 2021 - 01:41 PM

Since this condition is so self perpetuating like that, maybe it would be easier to stop the methods if we just believed there’s nothing wrong with us? Like you, I’ve been aware of this ‘paradox’ for a very long time but still can’t quite put the lid on it and delete this condition. Ah, but here I am, discussing another method. The method of ‘abandoning the methods’ lol. It all takes me back to Eyedea’s song the dive. “The harder you look,, the harder it is to find”

Even shadows have shadows.



#6 coolwhip27

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Posted 05 February 2021 - 06:28 PM

Even shadows have shadows.


Hey, that’s my anthem. And Eyedea is my idol, no joke.

#7 Phantasm

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Posted 06 February 2021 - 10:04 PM

Since this condition is so self perpetuating like that, maybe it would be easier to stop the methods if we just believed there’s nothing wrong with us? Like you, I’ve been aware of this ‘paradox’ for a very long time but still can’t quite put the lid on it and delete this condition. Ah, but here I am, discussing another method. The method of ‘abandoning the methods’ lol. It all takes me back to Eyedea’s song the dive. “The harder you look,, the harder it is to find”

 

That would be ideal, but it seems to be a hard one to convince ourselves of.

 

Now, some therapeutic methods have helped me, but, thinking about it, that was years ago. What am I still strung out on and holding on to?

 

The best approach for the "abandoning all methods method" I've found, is to really consider and acknowledge that everything you've been holding onto in your mind - everything you believe so important - has proven to be useless.

 

The mind can let go when you know something serves no purpose and can be discarded, and for me this isn't hard to accept because it's true and undeniable. 

 

Btw, I'd not heard of Eyedea before and just listened to How Much Do You Pay. Really good.



#8 Findmywayhome

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Posted 06 February 2021 - 11:49 PM

Are you constantly thinking about your condition? You might be, even if you don’t think so. Sometimes I forget that my constant search of figuring out what’s wrong with me is whats causing my DP. I have a proposal for this, and no it’s not a magical cure or secret to recovery. That doesn’t exist. My proposal is a kind of paradox, because I believe to stop DP is to stop searching for answers to stop it. Stop living in it. But since this is technically an ‘answer’ in itself, it’s pretty contradictory. But that’s ok because you don’t use it like you would as an answer to a question. You use it as a realization to move forward. Now, learning more about DP and browsing this forum is fine. As long as you aren’t doing it for the CAUSE of stopping it. It’s your motivation that matters (in your mind) for stopping this horrible condition. I love all of you even if I don’t know you, because I actually have real sympathy. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Good day everyone
Now I would like to note that none of this is an easy feat to accomplish. If it were we’d all be out of it by now. A real shift in mind and deleting obsession takes time.

Absolutely love this. Paradoxically, recovery posts give me anxiety. They all outline these rigorous methods and techniques that they assert one has to commit to for months or often times years. To me that just seems like one is submitting themself into a lifelong war with the disorder. I don’t want to see this as a fight. I want to learn to live with it. So that’s what I’ve been doing, but I can’t deny that I secretly wish that living as if nothing is wrong will actually cure me from the disorder, not just allow me to adapt to it. I don’t know, things are complicated. I cant say im severely miserable from this anymore, just perpetually confused, and still unable to grasp the fact that my entire perception of myself and existence has been turned upside down and set on fire within these past months.

#9 coolwhip27

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Posted 07 February 2021 - 04:08 PM

That would be ideal, but it seems to be a hard one to convince ourselves of.
 
Now, some therapeutic methods have helped me, but, thinking about it, that was years ago. What am I still strung out on and holding on to?
 
The best approach for the "abandoning all methods method" I've found, is to really consider and acknowledge that everything you've been holding onto in your mind - everything you believe so important - has proven to be useless.
 
The mind can let go when you know something serves no purpose and can be discarded, and for me this isn't hard to accept because it's true and undeniable. 
 
Btw, I'd not heard of Eyedea before and just listened to How Much Do You Pay. Really good.


100% agree. Maybe I’m trying too hard to convince myself that it’s all been useless, when in actuality I probably just need to see it as it is. I tend to tread in water with all this and the harder I try the more I squirm and go nowhere. Thanks, I feel like it helped me to hear that.

P.S How much do you pay is a good one but I bet even shadows have shadows would be a song you’d really relate to, check it out sometime.

#10 coolwhip27

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Posted 07 February 2021 - 04:29 PM

Absolutely love this. Paradoxically, recovery posts give me anxiety. They all outline these rigorous methods and techniques that they assert one has to commit to for months or often times years. To me that just seems like one is submitting themself into a lifelong war with the disorder. I don’t want to see this as a fight. I want to learn to live with it. So that’s what I’ve been doing, but I can’t deny that I secretly wish that living as if nothing is wrong will actually cure me from the disorder, not just allow me to adapt to it. I don’t know, things are complicated. I cant say im severely miserable from this anymore, just perpetually confused, and still unable to grasp the fact that my entire perception of myself and existence has been turned upside down and set on fire within these past months.


I understand. I can’t be 100% sure what causes it. I just think I make it worse by dwelling on how to get rid of it.. Nothing feels 100% real, perceptions go wild and confusion sets in. It’s been my life for the past 5 or 6 years

#11 Findmywayhome

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Posted 08 February 2021 - 12:28 AM

I understand. I can’t be 100% sure what causes it. I just think I make it worse by dwelling on how to get rid of it.. Nothing feels 100% real, perceptions go wild and confusion sets in. It’s been my life for the past 5 or 6 years


Have you managed to find any peace in your 5 years of DP?

#12 coolwhip27

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Posted 10 February 2021 - 01:43 AM

It’s not dp that’s hell anymore. It’s just my insanity. That’s just an easy way to put it though. I struggle with the belief that the Bible is real and most of us are going to hell. I’ve never vented it before but it’s the worst turmoil I’ve ever experienced. I’ve literally gone through every possible argument for each side in my head~ not real and real. Nothing anyone says will or can help. I’ll convince myself that it isn’t real, and then I’ll come to think or think I ‘know’ it is again. As you can see, dp/insanity has ultimately ruined my life so far. Sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear




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