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It’s getting really bad


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#1 Zpgrimm

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Posted 05 January 2021 - 02:51 PM

Hi All,

 

I’ve been struggling with DP/DR since I was 19 and now I am 36. It’s hasn’t been all bad and would say I am recovered for about 2 years at a time and go into an episode that lasts 6-7 months at a time. Lately this has been getting so bad that I am contemplating taking my own life because I just can’t take it anymore. Some of these symptoms I am not even sure are DP/DR. About 3 months ago I started to feel that scary dreamlike state and decided that I would let it runs it’s coarse. Here is what has been going.

 

- Can’t concentrate/Can’t focus my eyes.

-I feel confused/ memory is bad.

- When I sleep it feels like a blip in time, so I don’t feel like I’ve slept at all.

- A lot of things sound muffled or “limited” like maximum volume of everything is 5 out of 10.

- Surroundings are familiar, but foreign at the same time.

- A 24 hour day feels like 5 to me, I think I am being generous here.

- No motivation or emotions.

-24/7 anxiety.

 

Is this even DP/DR?

 

This is all 24/7 by the way.

 

I have a psychiatrist set up for this Thursday and a doctor for the next week. I think I will give it another month then start making plans not to be around anymore. Sorry for the negative mood everyone, but this is the worst it’s ever been and it’s been going on since I was 19 (With periods of remission) Anyone else had there symptoms improve after almost 20 years of them being present?



#2 Zpgrimm

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Posted 05 January 2021 - 03:17 PM

I also want to add that I have tried TMS in addition to a pharmacy of medications. It seems like my condition remits on its own most of the time, but right not it feels very unbearable...Its like my mind is spinning out of control every second of the day.



#3 Mayer-Gross

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Posted 05 January 2021 - 03:38 PM

The rTMS you have tried is likely either the left or right DLPFC that have a very low response rate for depersonalization in its primary form.In reality most rTMS clinics and machines can only take these two locations. 

 

rTMS tecnology is constant under development to stimulate on other locations and deeper into many brain areas. The very small trials done in depersonalization was done around 2010-11 (right TPJ) and 2013-14(right VLPFC) and there was then many restrictions on the technology on how deep into brain you could stimulated. So, many locations was ruled out back then. That is changing. So, there will come more interventions for different psychiatric conditions due to that the coming years due to the development in rTMS. 



#4 Mayer-Gross

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Posted 05 January 2021 - 04:36 PM

You could have a major depression. Depersonalization is normally very stable. But, to develop a major depression secondary to it is common and a risk factor.



#5 Zpgrimm

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Posted 05 January 2021 - 05:39 PM

You could have a major depression. Depersonalization is normally very stable. But, to develop a major depression secondary to it is common and a risk factor.

Are you saying the depression could be making my symptoms worse?
 



#6 Mayer-Gross

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Posted 05 January 2021 - 05:51 PM

Yes, it could make it worse. I don't know where you live but the civid lockdowns have had in impact on many mental health. It is an abnormal situation where people gets isolated around the same space for a long time. Mental problems you have might get worse and many who didn't have them gets them. You might have become more self obsessed about your state as there have been little opportunity for daily distractions. A state of stimulus monotony.

https://www.bbc.com/...health-54616688



#7 Cali1234

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Posted 08 January 2021 - 12:49 PM

Hi All,

I’ve been struggling with DP/DR since I was 19 and now I am 36. It’s hasn’t been all bad and would say I am recovered for about 2 years at a time and go into an episode that lasts 6-7 months at a time. Lately this has been getting so bad that I am contemplating taking my own life because I just can’t take it anymore. Some of these symptoms I am not even sure are DP/DR. About 3 months ago I started to feel that scary dreamlike state and decided that I would let it runs it’s coarse. Here is what has been going.

- Can’t concentrate/Can’t focus my eyes.
-I feel confused/ memory is bad.
- When I sleep it feels like a blip in time, so I don’t feel like I’ve slept at all.
- A lot of things sound muffled or “limited” like maximum volume of everything is 5 out of 10.
- Surroundings are familiar, but foreign at the same time.
- A 24 hour day feels like 5 to me, I think I am being generous here.
- No motivation or emotions.
-24/7 anxiety.

Is this even DP/DR?

This is all 24/7 by the way.

I have a psychiatrist set up for this Thursday and a doctor for the next week. I think I will give it another month then start making plans not to be around anymore. Sorry for the negative mood everyone, but this is the worst it’s ever been and it’s been going on since I was 19 (With periods of remission) Anyone else had there symptoms improve after almost 20 years of them being present?

I thought it was just me who experienced that muffled hearing part.. I’ve been to so many ents and they can’t figure it out, they say I’m fine so I’m wondering if it has to do with dp. I’ve only had dp for 2 1/2 yrs and developed that hearing about 6 months into getting dp. I also have a few other symptoms you listed but I definitely agree it’s dp to a certain extent with some depression.

#8 lost235

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Posted 08 January 2021 - 01:56 PM

I thought it was just me who experienced that muffled hearing part..


You’re for sure not alone! I’ve been experiencing it a lot, just a part of dpdr I guess.

#9 Findmywayhome

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Posted 09 January 2021 - 04:24 PM

Hey. Please stick around. If its gotten better before who says it wont again?

I think it would certainly help to seek any sort of treatment for your anxiety. Anxiety always makes it worse.

#10 leminaseri

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Posted 09 January 2021 - 06:19 PM

If its gotten better before who says it wont again?


unfortunately, although i recovered once 100% from all the various symptoms of dpdr, i can not grasp and induce this idea to my mind. the idea of „this time its very different, and this is a sign for it wont be better“ is so powerful. i can not change this thinking.

#11 Findmywayhome

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Posted 09 January 2021 - 09:16 PM

unfortunately, although i recovered once 100% from all the various symptoms of dpdr, i can not grasp and induce this idea to my mind. the idea of „this time its very different, and this is a sign for it wont be better“ is so powerful. i can not change this thinking.

Yeah I get that, but not all thoughts are reality. What I've come to learn is that a part of DPDR is a lot of neurotic thinking. I honestly think people who get DPDR are predisposed to being neurotic in the first place. Various people have recovered from anhedonia/blank mind and so on. It's entirely possible.



#12 Cheggy

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Posted 20 February 2021 - 09:24 AM

Hey. I feel suicidal with this.




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