8 replies to this topic

[MobiusX]

I never had a girlfriend or dated. I am 36. I wish I had a girlfriend who experiences the same things I do like depersonalization and derealiztion or something else very personal.

[lost235]

Hmm I would say I wouldn’t want to date someone with dpdr, rather someone who doesn’t have it but understands. I feel like if I would be with someone who experienced what I do I’d be stuck in that mindset, and there’d be no way of recovery. I need someone who can get my mind off of this. But still someone who understands that what I feel isn’t something that can just be fixed in a day and is very difficult.

[PerfectFifth]

The more I have in common with whomever I date, the better. That's my experience. So yes, I would even prefer them to have DP for increased relatability. 

[Trith]

I would date anyone provided I feel some attraction! This disorder adds a barrier between me and others and it has been realy hard to start relationships.

[mana_war]

No, generally I don't have a tendency to be attracted to people with the same weaknesses I have.

[forestx5]

I have enough on my plate managing my own mental health issues.  I have been married now for almost 30 years.  I don't get a lot of sympathy from my wife, and I rarely need or ask for it.

She has no idea of my trials and tribulations, and I don't see any benefit in having her pretend she does.

What she sees, is what she gets.  Most of the people I have associated with closely in my personal and work life have no clue I suffer from a mental illness.  At times it is hard for me to keep

this confidential, but I do my best for their sake.   Most people simply aren't equipped to comprehend serious mental illness and its effects on someone trying to lead a normal life.

So, no.  As someone with a mental illness I would not seek the affection of someone else with a mood or dissociative disorder.  I think one mental illness in a relationship is plenty.

Having said that, I see no reason why you shouldin't date someone without a mental illness, if she is willing.  I would just recommend you be honest about potential limitations you

might face in meeting the obligations of marriage and all that does with it, if your relationship becomes more serious.

[ThoughtOnFire]

I have, twice. Don't look for happiness being fulfilled by an image that you have of a romance. I'd go as far to say that in most cases, relationships tend to trigger mental illness especially when one is enmeshed with another with the same illness. Work on yourself, first and always. That's not being selfish, that's what a successful relationship comes from.

[AnnaGiulia]

Now that you brought up the topic of mental health in relationships, I don't think I ever dated anyone who didn't have some sort of mental health issues, not because I specifically looked for people who suffer, but more likely because I was brought up in an environment that conditioned me to seek people who are different, but also those who share some of my experience. For me, their mental health issues were not really a burden, as I believe I could always see the person beyond those issues. Still, I am certain that my mental health issues must have been deeply triggering for my husband, and yet he stayed by me, just as I did, when he was going through hard times.

 

However, I don't rely on other people too much, and I don't expect them to be the solution for any problem that I may have. I don't need another person to "save" me, and in general I don't need another person, full stop. I choose to have rs, and I choose to have friends, not because I need them to fill in a certain role, but because I appreciate them as human beings and enjoy their company.

[Phantasm]

Mental health problems have so severely impeded my dating options that frankly I would date a one-eyed, one-legged, dead penguin if it looked like it was smiling at me, Lolz.