Hey Burglecuts,
Yes, I think I was fortunate in finding good therapists, as I had two by now.
The first one was a psychiatrist, and also a very good diagnostician whose approach is CBT. He dx me with Depersonalization and derealization disorder, and later with Dissociative amnesia, among other things (I also had GAD, depression at one point, and somatization), but that was even before I was aware of the fact that dissociative disorders stemming from early childhood are linked to trauma. We reached the root cause of my dissociation in therapy, but I was not able to move on, even though I had periods of being highly functional in my professional life, interchanging with periods of a very low functioning.
The second therapist I found recently is a psychologist, whose approach is REBT, but I found him by explicitly looking for an EMDR therapist. EMDR is one of few approaches (besides Somatic experiencing by Peter Levine, or somatic or Sensorimotor psychotherapy by Pat Ogden), that is efficient in treating trauma, but it is not solely used for that. I am very satisfied with how it goes.
In the meantime, I decided that dx, as helpful as it is at the moment one experiences all the weight of a condition that is unknown and scary, does not define us. The main thing I learned, both in CBT, and now in EMDR, and also from reading a lot of the latest research on dissociation (including DPDR) and trauma, is that I have been badly hurt in my formative years (think of betrayal of trust, or the loss of secure attachment, beside other things), and the result of that is a coping mechanism that has been blown out of proportion, and that mechanism is dissociation.
Now, I cannot know the type of problems you face, where they stem from, and what the right therapy would be for you, but I wholeheartedly recommend EMDR for people who had, as I did, problems with depression, anxiety, addictive or obsessive behavior (that in itself is actually soothing behavior, as an attempt to establish some sort of control in the situation one feels helpless or powerless or an attempt to distract oneself - well, I had more distraction than addiction, really, as I was a workaholic, and I never used any substances, no drugs, no alcohol), dissociative disorders, and particularly with some sort of somatization (such as inexplicable pains, tics etc.).
I also relied a lot on online communities, in particular when my anxiety and DP prevented me from reaching out to people irl.
I know it is very difficult to connect to anyone when you already feel disconnected from the closest people in your life. There is a number of posts in this forum that give very good advice as to how to stay grounded as much as it is possible, how to maintain some healthy habits, and how to endure the worst times that depersonalization and derealization can bring about...Hope you will find something to relate to.
Take care,
A.
