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Back to normal life

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#1 Anarchy777

Anarchy777

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Posted 19 October 2020 - 04:14 AM

Hello ... I just wanted to share my story with other sufferers. 

I'm from europe so dont judge badly my english biggrin.png

 

It all started in summer 2019. i had my first panic attack (i'm 32 now) I think my panic attack was caused by stressed out life style, i was working allot and there was a period when i literally felt how my nerv tension was building up. There was allot of things going on in my life that accumulated all that crazy stuff that lead to my panic attack. 

Next three months after the panic attack, i started to get suspicious about everything. I started to get problems with my guts. there was a period when i tought i got a tumor biggrin.png and all kind of crazy stuff. I felt like every day i'm dropping in like some kind of hole ... deeper and deeper every day. I was terefied about everything and that wave came to me about 3 -5 times a day ..

Then my vision started to blurr, my head felt tight (like a belt wrapped around) and everything started to look "different" ? i don't know how to describe it, but suddenly the whole world got very frightening. i looked at something and it felt like tat something it different. not like usually you would expect to see that thing. the trees were different. the dimensions of rooms felt jagged up ... every thing was crazy ... 

Even the sound got dull and sometimes echoed ... i compared it to be like drunk or like high but that feeling was with me everyday.

I knew that it's only a feeling and that everything with the world is all right, but there was nothing that i could to to get over that frightening feeling of unrealism. Soooo ... i slowly got deeper in all that stuff, i started to feel that i'm forgetting everything, that my memories are not mine ... all that kind of stuff ( i think you all know what i'm talking about) i felt like a robot. 

i was waiting for the day when it all would subside. ... It took a year ... 

I'ts all over now. theres nothing left ... nothing. like there wasn't any problems at all ... i didnt do nothing to heal myself, no drugs, no tea's ne special methods. when it was really bad, like at the peak - i just accepted it. i accepted it and realized that there is nothing left to do ... just live! live your life and do what it takes to get everything done in your daily life.

Then i felt that it lifted, not like a cover - one day and it's off, no it just got easier to life every day life. 

but now everything is back to normal. there was a year of fear and hell biggrin.png but you know what i understood?  IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD ... all of that crazy stuff was my fear.  Just let go of that feeling and it will subside. stop thinking about it and one day you will realize "man ... i'm feeling normal again"

Yes, somethimes i get that backdoor thought "am i normal"? is everyting allright? but the difference now is that it lasts only seconds. it hits my head, but i dont think about it. i dont let that crap stay in my head and spin arround. i just go along my everyday life and think about things that matter. now i know that these feelings i had, was only my thoughts, fears and stress.

But it left scars! And it's normal ... You can't expect that this period will be ereased from your life and memories. It leaves scars, but you manage to cope with them and then you realize that everything is normal. 

So ... just live. It will go away. (if you let it go)

Dont spin that crap in your head, it doesnt deserve it ... it's only your fears. There was time i tought that it would never end, like i would be forever in this crazy state. But now im normal again and you also will get over it. its periodic, its not forever, there is no damage you made ... 






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