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Possible I’ve done irreversible damage?

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#1 kingromeo



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Posted 10 October 2020 - 11:54 AM

I got Derealization from a cannabis induced panic attack in July 2017 you wouldn’t of known I had It unless I told you, I was still partying and living a fairly normal life from before my personality didn’t change, then in January 2019 stupidly I accidentally got high removing gloss from the carpet with white spirit and a steamer, I didn’t have a DP attack at the time just a panic attack as I thought i was going to die I had no balance was throwing up etc, but the following days my derealization was hell, after that I become uptight and scared about everything I’ve since developed a phobia of medication, ingesting, inhaling anything harmful and you can see on my photo albums the weight loss and mental health just deteriorate, I’ve since stopped drinking as I don’t want to feel like that and therefor stopped socialising and lost ‘friends’ My personality has changed massively and I’m constantly anxious whereas I wasn’t before. I’ve checked symptoms of nervous system/ brain damage online and I don’t have any of them but because solvent abuse DPDR is rare online I can’t help but feel like this has seriously harmed me mentally due to the deterioration since and how it’s effected me, is this possible?

#2 forestx5


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Posted 11 October 2020 - 04:50 AM

I believe it is possible.   I read a good bit of Mark Ripley's book Genome.  In that book, I learned that psychological trauma can cause gene switching in the brain.  If/when a gene is switched off, a protein is discontinued and a biological process ceases.

Sufficient reserves of the protein may exist to allow the biological process to continue for a few days.  That is why, I suspect, that some who have had severe trauma after smoking cannabis feel OK for a few days, before they fall into chronic dp/dr.

My own experience was one of having temporal lobe seizures following my 1st cannabis intoxication.  My post ictal psychosis segued into an affective disorder of major depression.  My EEGs show significant pathology in my temporal lobe.  I have

to assume that the more than 2 dozen epileptic discharges I endured during my cannabis intoxication had a lasting negative effect on my brain.  I had ECT in 2014, which seemed to have reset my firmware to factory defaults. 

The vast majority of depressive symptoms, along with the accompanying dp, have been in remission for almost 7 years.  I still have an occasional migraine aura, which have been recurring since my trauma at age 17.  Not as bad as they used to be.

I am no longer concerned with them.  In my youth, I had friends who huffed solvents.  Strip Eeze was the brand name of their favorite paint/varnish remover.  Their trajectory was slowly and perceptibly down. That doesn't sound like you. 

I had a friend in high school,  who was built like Tarzan.

He ran track for my high school.  He took auto body in the morning, and caught up with me at lunchtime.  He and I volunteered our lunch period to deliver movie projectors to classrooms, under the supervision of our biology teacher, who was a great guy.

The teacher knew my friend was huffing, and my friend was always high after his session in the auto body shop. The teacher would give him a lecture every week about it.    Long story short, my friend got married, got a good job with the fire department, had a young child, and was found dead in his attic

where the newspaper said he had been painting and had been "overcome by fumes.".  What a waste.  True story.

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