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who´s got an alcoholic like me after getting in this silent hell of emotional numbness and dp ?


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#1 RunToMe

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Posted 03 October 2020 - 07:37 AM

after 1 year and 8 months and meds i have no power anymore to stand it...like drinking non-stop... i am alone with that ?



#2 jack1992

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Posted 03 October 2020 - 02:28 PM

after 1 year and 8 months and meds i have no power anymore to stand it...like drinking non-stop... i am alone with that ?

 

No, you're most definitely not alone my friend. I am in the same situation myself. I only feel alive when I drink alcohol. I drink every 2-3 days and the days I don't drink are incredibly tedious because I feel barely anything, barely any pleasure, no passion, no inspiration to do anything, just like a zombie really. I have had DP for a long time but the alcohol problem only started last Christmas. I had a horrible family get together where I felt unwanted etc so I got drunk when I got home. It gave me such a buzz of euphoria and the family problems and DP fell into insignificance. I lost all my social anxiety and went out to the city feeling no fear and actually enjoying myself for once. 

 

So ever since Xmas, I've been reexperiencing that buzz through drinking 2-3 times a week. I know it's bad for my liver etc but unless somebody can show me another way of escaping this mind numbing misery of 24/7 DP, I am unwilling to give it up for now. What's the point in living healthily if I can't actually enjoy life?



#3 RunToMe

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Posted 03 October 2020 - 02:46 PM

but i to do that every day and i dont feel euphoria...for me its mask my hell and espacially to fall in coma sleep



#4 jack1992

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Posted 03 October 2020 - 03:35 PM

but i to do that every day and i dont feel euphoria...for me its mask my hell and espacially to fall in coma sleep

 

Sorry to hear that. Did you feel euphoria when you first started drinking? The problem may be that you have become tolerant of alcohol so it no longer gives you the positive feelings of euphoria. I can't claim to have found the solution to the problem myself but I can only suggest cutting down on the drink and going to your doctor as soon as possible as they may be able to find a medication which can regulate your emotions and make you feel less unhappy. Easier said than done, I know. For me personally, I am too afraid to start on different medication because I'm afraid of bad side effects (I've been on Sertraline for 13 years so could be pretty tough withdrawals alongside side effects of new meds). I know alcohol is bad also but it's just the easiest way for me to feel good right now.

 

But please call your doctor or even AA, just try and get some good advice from professionals who are aware of DP/DR and whatever underlying problems you may have which caused the DP/DR and drinking in the first place.

Good luck.



#5 RunToMe

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Posted 03 October 2020 - 04:34 PM

jack : depression/ dp brought me to an alcoholic; its good to use it like a medicine for you



#6 Aridity

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Posted 05 October 2020 - 05:13 AM

I am completely dead inside, but I am to scared to even drink alcohol. Alcohol helped me so much in the past, but it started to make me worse. And now I have been without alcohol for years. I don't get the same buzz either like before.



#7 jack1992

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Posted 05 October 2020 - 11:44 AM

I am completely dead inside, but I am to scared to even drink alcohol. Alcohol helped me so much in the past, but it started to make me worse. And now I have been without alcohol for years. I don't get the same buzz either like before.

 

That's good to hear. I think if you can manage without it, you're better off. I'm making sure I wait at least 3 days between each drinking session to keep from becoming too dependent on it but I couldn't live totally without it, at least for now. Like I said, it's the only thing which really allows me to loosen up and enjoy life. I suffer really badly from social anxiety when I go out so the alcohol allows me to go out and not care what people think of me. It also makes the DP and any other problems feel less important.

 

However, I have found that if something triggers me when I am drunk, like I spill a drink (lol) or my bicycle goes wrong or something, this can send me down a spiral of self pitying and full on crying for an hour+ as the alcohol prevents me from controlling my emotions like I normally would. It brings out the grief I keep inside about family members who have died etc. But mostly, alcohol makes me feel happy and carefree, provided nothing triggers me during the drinking session.



#8 RunToMe

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Posted 05 October 2020 - 11:50 AM

good for you that it helps you...i havent such social anxiety to ease it ...thats not my problem maybe i am just alittle bit older and i have nor so much social anxiety i was self-confident before my trauma






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