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New here - and a lot of questions of course


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#1 Michel_Ardan

Michel_Ardan

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Posted 24 September 2020 - 10:10 AM

Dear Community,

after coming to this forum some time ago and reading it for a decade, I decided to register. Since I am not a very active user of forums, I apologize in advance if I rarely speak up.
For many years I have been struggling with problems for which I only found the term derealization / depersonalization relatively recently. I know many of the problems and symptoms described here too well. So I can understand how many of the forum members feel and struggle and I am looking forward to the exchange.

And here my first question comes straight away. As so many users of this forum, I feel that I find myself very clearly in certain of the symptoms of DP / DR described here (dizziness, Blank mind, feeling unfamiliar with the environment). However, I often feel a general irritation towards phenomena and my own body. I wonder if these are symptoms of depersonalization as well. To explain what I mean by “irriation”: Often times, very common things seem very strange to me. For example, I look out the window and find it extremely irritating that there is a sky out there. I know that sounds strange, but somehow it irritates me. It seems totally absurd to me in these moments, although of course I know better. The same applies to “phenomena” such as life as such and death. By “irritated” and “absurd” I mean that part of my brain perceives these things as really confusing and disconcerting, even illogical, as if I were looking at them from a meta-level. It's hard to explain, you know it… I often feel the same way with my own body. It usually feels less “strange” or “doesn't belong”, but rather it seems strange to me how it is structured. The fact that I have a mouth and a face then seems totally strange to me, downright absurd and unusual. So not in the form that I just feel disconnected to my body, but that it seems totally strange and absurd to me as it is. I hope I've made it clear what I'm talking about.

The question I ask myself is whether this is also a normal symptom of DP / DR, whether you experience it that way too.

Thank you for your feedback!




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