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#1 lud9.7

lud9.7

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Posted 07 August 2020 - 05:59 PM

Hey everyone this is my first post on this forum but i used to be on here alot in 2016/2017 when i was 19/20 and my dp was at its absolute worst. I first got it from anxiety and trauma and then drugs on top of that to make it all worse. It felt like all hope was gone. And reading stories of people with 30+ years without any recovery did not help one bit. It truly felt impossible for me to ever break through to live a life in sync with my own mind, in sync with reality, and to not feel like a strange creature everywhere i went as well as claustrophobic in social situations due to that strangeness. Its been alot of hard mental work to not give up and i truly feel connected to all you people going through the same thing i was/ still sort of going through. I just want to tell anyone that is in that low terrifying place that there really is hope. I wish i could tell you how to get out if the illness. What worked for me was to first of all accept the strange nature of reality, because that is simply a fact, and then to in a sense let it the illness take its time and try to listen to what the illness was trying to show me (in a very broad sense.) Worked on my genuine confidence and self-love. Worked on not feeling ashamed for feeling strange in front of other people. Tried to come to terms with things i was hiding from. Went to community college to start having a routine while looking for inspiration within different subjects.

You have potential to and you are even resposible for bringing good into this world. This thing that is trying to take over you cannot win. It does not value your life or anyone elses. 

The upside to having a fluid reality is that you can tap into different streams in this world, unfortunatly some streams only purpose is to infect you, take over your mind and body (wich a dissociated person is a great target for.) Other streams are fully good and bright. And it is all very very real. You can use this dissociation to tap into pure good and feel more real than ever. 

Work to find inspiring books,music,people etc. 

The last year has been the best progress of my life. After 6 years of DP i finally dont feel terrified and crippled, on the contrary i feel greatful and more awake than i've probably ever felt, though ofcourse i still have bad days. I wish you all the best.  

 

 

 

 






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