What you said about obsessing over how you feel is exactly what I feel is holding me back. Even when I have good days I’ll sometimes sabotage by thinking “am I ok?” “How do I feel”. Was it hard to let go? What helped you stop checking in?
I don't know if this will help mkeshish, but the law of substitution says that you cannot not think of a pink elephant, but you can think of something else (like a multicolored aardvark)
Start imagining how it might be to feel how you want to feel, like, "what if?" And run with it