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#1 Effoffdpdr

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Posted 01 August 2020 - 04:42 PM

Hello!

New here. So about 2 months ago I woke up one day and my whole world has changed I had absolutely no stresses in my life nothing I can think of that would have caused this. This is why I feel like I’m incurable because it’s usually caused my trauma, anxiety, stress, drugs right? I had none of that. My life was just normal and then one day just randomly woke up with it. I am incredibly terrified. It’s like my entire memory has been wiped out, The most terrifying part is I have a 2 year old daughter, obviously raised her since the day I gave birth to her but since that day 2 months ago I look at her and it’s like I don’t recognise her like I’m seeing her for the first time and I am so upset that I feel this disconnection it feels like she’s not even mine the memories I do have of us together it’s like it’s not me. My house seems unfamiliar. My boyfriend of 3 years seems unfamiliar like I don’t even know him, my parents seem unfamiliar, EVERYTHING I KNOW JUST SEEMS STRANGE AND UNFAMILIAR. I am petrified that I will stay this way forever that my memories and connection to my memories wont come back It just feels they are just gone. Its like I’ve forgotten my whole life and I’m only 22 for goodness sake. Time perception is just gone I’m living in this second and that is it from one second to the next. Don’t even ask me what happened an hour ago because that feels like last week. And I’ll be damned if I can remember anyway as my short term memory is gone aswell. My brain is just absolutely empty. I am in constant dream like state. No emotions and I mean 0 EMOTIONS. NOTHING. I feel nothing for anything. It’s like my soul is in space and I’m just floating around, not actually participating in life, I’m just an observer. I am not in my body, can’t even feel myself sitting in this chair I’m on. Literally the day before that day I was perfectly normal happy funny crazy me just living my normal life and then this happens. It has ruined my life. Everyday I wake up just scared to even open my eyes just to feel like this, what is the point in living when I don’t feel alive? I know it hasn’t been long but everyday I wake up the same please someone tell me it’s possible to go back to how used to be please tell me my memories will come back. Please. I can not live like this. I want to look at my daughter and feel the love again😭

#2 forestx5

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Posted 01 August 2020 - 07:43 PM

I would recommend you see a neurologist and ask for an EEG.  I had similar symptoms following my first epileptic seizures as a teen.   My family seemed alien because I no longer was

able to feel the emotions that were supposed to be assigned to their images.  i had to live by my intellect for a long period, until I recovered most of my emotional capacity.

I never got it all back, and my EEGs are abnormal today, over 45 years after my initial trauma as a 17 year old.  It wasn't until I had the EEG, which showed I was epileptic,

that I began to understand my symptoms  and my life.



#3 Effoffdpdr

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Posted 02 August 2020 - 01:48 AM

So this may not be just dpdr?

#4 forestx5

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Posted 05 August 2020 - 06:21 PM

Surprising as it may seem, I lived with focal temporal lobe seizures, frequent migraine aura which functionally blinded me for 30 minutes each episode, and I endured an episode

of major depression on intervals of 8 years throughout 40 years of my adult life.  It took me 40 years to self diagnose my illness because the medical industry isn't geared to rare

and difficult to diagnose epileptic syndromes. I discovered myself in a medical journal I found in a British Neurological library.  It describe my illness exactly.

It described the onset exactly as it happened to me.  It explained every odd symptom I had ever experienced.

If, at any time during my 40 years of suffering, someone had recommended I get an EEG....it would have changed my life.

Which, of course, is why I recommend you have one. It could change your life.  If it is negative, then you know something you didn't before.






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