Finally i'm here. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I guess that's what I mean when I say finally i'm here as my DP/DR has led me here today.
My name is Saber, I'm 38 years old, hard working family man with a great family, career, friends and life. Truly blessed.
However life is like a game of Monopoly, sometimes we move forward and then backwards, sometimes we win, sometimes we lose etc.
Five months ago my life changed because of DP/DR which resulted in me being made redundant yesterday. Wow did not see that coming at the beginning of 2019.
Okay so how it all begun for me is like this, at 23 I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety disorder. I was on antidepressants at the time but was functioning pretty well and still enjoying life.
At 32 I had a manic episode and was diagnosed with Bipolar. I was then put on antipsychotics which stabilized things and again I went back to functioning well.
Five months ago I had a complete breakdown after having a year and a half of severe panic attacks. They just started one day and never stopped.
Since the breakdown gradually the DP/DR set in and things haven't changed. I am taking a combination of medications which have improved mood but my symptoms still persist.
Life is hard now, every day is a struggle. I feel unreal, the world around me feels strange, so disconnected. I wake up blank minded in the middle of the night and have problems with memory. I question life and existence as well as have racing thoughts. At my lowest I felt suicidal two months in with this disorder, however I was never going to take that route. That's not an option no matter what.
My brain seems to work at only 20%. Simple tasks seem hard now. My ears ring all day, My eyes are sensitive to light and I have headaches all day. Life has changed with this disability.
However their is hope for all. Our bodies, minds and emotions are a miraculous thing. God created us with durability. Given time we can heal and evolve from this condition.
If your reading this, your not alone. I know how hard this is but theirs thousands of people world wide going through this everyday.
The way I see it it's a new chapter in my life. I have learnt more about myself and life over the last few months having DP/DR as I have had a lot of time to reflect (as I have been off work since this all began.)
I know this is going to be a slow process but I am determined to figure this out. I will die trying but I'm not giving up and if your reading this then PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP ON LIFE. It's a precious gift from God and in him we must put our faith.
I hope to keep blogging and hope to start a You Tube account as I want to share my journey. I want to help myself and others beat this thing and yes, truthfully I don't know how but I will figure this out and so are you. WE CAN DO THIS.
I have always been spiritual and a humanist. I am also a firm believer in God. I believe life is all about helping others and spreading love, peace and joy.
If anyone would like to talk I will set up a Skype account over the next few days.
Love to all here Saber AKA Sabby