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Anyone else feel this?

Depersonalization Unreal No memory Uncomfortable Scared Dp

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#1 Heather414

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 01:44 PM

Hey guys, Heather here with yet ANOTHER post.

Im currently sick so Im having a bad couple days :/

But I want to list my symptoms and see if anyone is experiencing something atleast close to me

•totally disconnected from my body
•doesnt feel like Im not the one doing things
•very blank mind
•nothing I do or anything around me feels like its actually happening, there for making everything feel unreal
•long & short term memory are shot
•things that I do remember feel like they didnt actually happen
•have no desires to do anything at all
•nothing has meaning anymore
•just always feeling weird & uncomfortable
•dont dream anymore, and when I do they are bad dreams
•feeling like I dont have a past or a future
•scared Im going to totally forget everything or go crazy

Ugh Im struggling so much right now. I dont have the dreamlike/high/drunk feeling so it makes me feel like nothing but literally everything is wrong at the same time. I literally dont see how I could possibly get better from this. How can I recover in any possible way when nothing feels like its actually happening around me? When I cant remember like 98% of my past? Im so sad :(

#2 mind.divided

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 03:22 PM

You have all the typical symptoms that almost everyone else has. This disorder is mostly psychological so you gotta work on your though patterns. What I mean by that is you should try accepting the symptoms and letting go of unwanted thoughts because they put loads of stress on your mind and so you can't recover. Remember that you get more of what you focus on so if you are constantly analyzing your symptoms they won't go away because you are feeding them with your attention. If you hurt your leg, the more you focus on the pain the worse it gets - so try accepting and focus on other more positive things in your life, maybe a goal you have or something else. Also look back at your life and check if you have experience any trauma because I believe the root cause of this disorder is trauma. Mindfulness is very helpful and just looking for emotions in your body can help. 

 

I hope you get better, like I did. Stay strong! :)



#3 Chicane

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 03:23 PM

I have all this plus off-balance sensation and terrible fatigue. I can't imagine how we're supposed to live meaningful, productive lives feeling this way. Most days I can barely leave the couch.



#4 dreamedm

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 04:42 PM

Do you have the constant blank mind? Like a "silence" that shouldn't be there? This is the most devastating symptom, because from what I understand, always with the blank mind comes the other devastating symptoms like no emotions (except bad ones), timelessness, feeling emotionally flat and totally disconnected from others. It's truly hell on earth, but people have/do recover.

 

I was talking to someone in chat about this just last night - they also had the blank mind + severe psychotic depression, etc. They recovered. The person took small steps and became more and more active (joining a gym, being active in the summer) until she finally recovered and became connected again. So there's hope, but for those that meds don't work on (fully or at all) need to take action that may be conducive towards recovery.

 

I don't know how long it'll take because I'm in the same state. The blank mind and its associated symptoms make me despair and gives me waves of terror pretty much daily, but what else can we do but hope and try to be proactive about recovery?



#5 Pondererer

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 06:31 PM

For what it's worth, i relate 100% and i'm actually getting better after a lifetime of having this. Medication has basically been a turning point for me. Not a magic fix, but enough to pull me through it. Other than that my only tip is to really make habits and get better at just relaxing and enjoying whatever your doing. Really learn to choose to be relaxed and content. I've felt like im actually dying so often just because of this stress, coming from the feeling that i need to get something done or that something is wrong and must be fixed first. Truth is nothing is wrong, nothing must be fixed, in fact everything is good! It's only your mind that needs to get its rest. I know you and everybody else here have read this over a thousand times, but if you need to, read it two thousand times more until you actually get better at doing this.

 

Wish you luck :-)



#6 dreamedm

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 06:42 PM

For what it's worth, i relate 100% and i'm actually getting better after a lifetime of having this. Medication has basically been a turning point for me. Not a magic fix, but enough to pull me through it. Other than that my only tip is to really make habits and get better at just relaxing and enjoying whatever your doing. Really learn to choose to be relaxed and content. I've felt like im actually dying so often just because of this stress, coming from the feeling that i need to get something done or that something is wrong and must be fixed first. Truth is nothing is wrong, nothing must be fixed, in fact everything is good! It's only your mind that needs to get its rest. I know you and everybody else here have read this over a thousand times, but if you need to, read it two thousand times more until you actually get better at doing this.

 

Wish you luck :-)

 

Have you had/have the blank mind before meds? Do you still have it? It's hard to feel better with a blank mind and its associated symptoms...loss of pleasure and complete disconnection from others/one's "self." 



#7 Pondererer

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 06:51 PM

Have you had/have the blank mind before meds? Do you still have it? It's hard to feel better with a blank mind and its associated symptoms...loss of pleasure and complete disconnection from others/one's "self." 

I've been blank minded half my life, and the other half existensial terror.....i'm blank minded right now, but that's okey. I'm a little slow, but functioning. Luckily i haven't felt those panick feelings since i started the meds, so it actually did alot when it comes to that. personally i think pretty much everyone with DP has the same issue. You're either panicking or your blank minded, never knowing rest. People need to stop thinking in terms of being blank minded or not, and start thinking about what you are FOCUSING on right now. And that focus should be enjoying the moment and living life. Most important getting rest and feeling well!







Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Depersonalization, Unreal, No memory, Uncomfortable, Scared, Dp

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