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Really needing encouragement


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#1 Heather414

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Posted 08 January 2017 - 09:33 PM

Im having such a horrible day. My boyfriend left to go back to school from break. Him leaving the first time a few months ago was part of the reason Im experiencing DP. If its even that. I "feel" so weird. It sucks so much to spend everyday with your significant other, wake up next to them everyday and then suddenly not.

I tried to prepare myself for this day again but its really hard.

Im so disconnected and my memory is horrible that the past few weeks hes been back feel like they never happened. I can barely remember any of it and the stuff I can somewhat remember feels like it didnt happen. I hate this. I hate this so much.
Why do I have to suffer so much.

I love him with all my heart and it sucks that I cant "experience" life with him like I used to. Im crying my eyes out right now.

#2 tfiio

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Posted 09 January 2017 - 01:21 PM

long distance relationships suck, even for people who don't have to deal with all the additional brain-junk we're stuck with for now. it's totally reasonable to miss him so much it hurts. and having those memories feel imagined sure doesn't help, I've been there. the only thing I know of to do about it is try to hold on until he's back again. it helped me to have some concrete, physical reminder, like a stuffed animal they gave me as a gift or a letter they wrote me. and of course there's texting and phonecalls, but those start to fade as soon as they're over.

 

it won't be like this forever. and it sounds like he's worth the effort to you.



#3 Heather414

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Posted 09 January 2017 - 04:50 PM

long distance relationships suck, even for people who don't have to deal with all the additional brain-junk we're stuck with for now. it's totally reasonable to miss him so much it hurts. and having those memories feel imagined sure doesn't help, I've been there. the only thing I know of to do about it is try to hold on until he's back again. it helped me to have some concrete, physical reminder, like a stuffed animal they gave me as a gift or a letter they wrote me. and of course there's texting and phonecalls, but those start to fade as soon as they're over.

it won't be like this forever. and it sounds like he's worth the effort to you.


Yes it sucks a lot. Im now once again waking up in panic because Im suddenly alone. I was so positive that I was going to be able to do it this time but as soon as he turned around to head to his plane I felt this horrible feeling. The fact that I cant really remember the time he was back, and hes now thousands of miles away from me feels like he doesnt exist at all.

Hes the only thing thats really keeping me going. I was supposed to get a job as soon as he left for school because when he gets out me and him planned to live out there together. I still havnt gotten a job because of DP. Im hurting so much. All I wanted before all this was to be out there with him. I actually had goals and dreams and now that all means nothing to me. Idk what to do. Is this even DP? I feel like I lose more of myself every day.

#4 tfiio

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Posted 10 January 2017 - 02:01 PM

I know I've seen your posts in other threads, but I apologize, for I can't remember if you've answered this before. are you currently seeking professional treatment for your symptoms, regardless of what the right name may be? a therapist can help you find the right name, as well as helping you find ways to make it easier on yourself. I feel like that should be a higher priority than working, right now.

 

I know I often feel like I'm not supposed to tell my long distance significant other about worries or bad feelings I have about us. but I also find that telling them about what's bothering you can help you both. he knows what's wrong instead of you just hiding something and making him worry about what you're hiding, and you don't have to hide. then you two can work on finding something that helps, together. (and maybe you're not as awful about that as I was :P but if it's something you have trouble with too, I just wanted to remind you it's okay.)






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