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Top Things Your Friends with Depersonalization Disorder Want You To Know


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#1 peachy

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Posted 24 April 2016 - 07:21 AM

I always see articles going out about different physical or mental disorders and what they want their friends to know about having the disease (Like usual, we are severely underrepresented and there is nothing out there for us so I thought I'd create one).  These articles are typically short, lighthearted but hitting on heavy issues, and extremely informative and seek to break down misunderstandings.  I thought it would be interesting to make a list of things that you wish people knew about living with depersonalization disorder and clear up misconceptions people might have.  It seems like right now, there are no societal wide misconceptions about depersonalization because most people don't even know it exists.  But for the people you have mentioned it to in passing or the people that know you well and watch you live with this everyday...what do you want people to know about depersonalization disorder?  

 



#2 Billy D.P.

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 12:18 AM

That it's extremely difficult for me to express anything in a way I want to because my true inner self and my true emotions and intentions and mannerisms are always hidden behind the veil of this condition. I feel like a ghost and each and every day I wake up I pray that I can feel truly alive again. 



#3 Autonomic Space Monkey

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 07:04 AM

1) Just because I look completely "normal" to you, does not therefore mean that I feel it inside! Never judge a book by its cover.

 

2) The DP makes me really forgetful, & no; it's not the same as when you get 'a little bit forgetful now & then'.

 

3) The DP also makes me emotionally blunted, & again no; it's not because "I'm not close to people" that I feel this way.

 

4) Please stop ignoring what I say about my condition & then judging me based on your ignorant assumptions!

 

5) Please give me the benefit of the doubt as regards my condition & just accept it, even if you can't fully understand it.

 

6) I'm not a fricking retard, I'm not crazy, I just feel that way; so do not treat me as such. It's only my perceptions that are warped, not me.

 

7) Telling me to 'pull my socks up' etc isn't helpful, but it is a good way of making me REALLY FRUSTRATED WITH YOU! :rolleyes:

 

 

 

:P

 

 

 

PS: Follow this link & read from page 202 under the heading DPD and the Family.



#4 Grecian

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 07:32 AM

1) Just because I look completely "normal" to you, does not therefore mean that I feel it inside! Never judge a book by its cover.

 

2) The DP makes me really forgetful, & no; it's not the same as when you get 'a little bit forgetful now & then'.

 

3) The DP also makes me emotionally blunted, & again no; it's not because "I'm not close to people" that I feel this way.

 

4) Please stop ignoring what I say about my condition & then judging me based on your ignorant assumptions!

 

5) Please give me the benefit of the doubt as regards my condition & just accept it, even if you can't fully understand it.

 

6) I'm not a fricking retard, I'm not crazy, I just feel that way; so do not treat me as such. It's only my perceptions that are warped, not me.

 

7) Telling me to 'pull my socks up' etc isn't helpful, but it is a good way of making me REALLY FRUSTRATED WITH YOU! :rolleyes:

 

 

 

:P

 

 

 

PS: Follow this link & read from page 202 under the heading DPD and the Family.

 

I agree with all this.

 

I would also add that I specifically want people to know that I struggle with this EVERY minute of EVERY day, not in episodes. Granted the severity changes, but at no point in any given day do I feel 'normal' (although what 'normal' is can be debated). 



#5 Autonomic Space Monkey

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 07:42 AM

I would also add that I specifically want people to know that I struggle with this EVERY minute of EVERY day, not in episodes. Granted the severity changes, but at no point in any given day do I feel 'normal' (although what 'normal' is can be debated). 

 

Oh yeah! This is something I say to people after explaining the main symptoms; "I've felt this way every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year, of every decade, FOR THE LAST TWENTY SIX FRICKING YEARS!"

 

 

:(



#6 eddy1886

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 10:18 AM

I want all the idiots in the world who think mental ill health is "all in your head" to be able to come inside my mind for a few hours and then watch them run for their f*****g lives in terror....Then one by one they can apologize to me for being such narrow minded, ignorant, stigmatizing f***s!!!



#7 surfingisfun001

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 12:09 PM

I'm not lazy.

 

and this...

 

...Then one by one they can apologize to me for being such narrow minded, ignorant, stigmatizing f***s!!!



#8 Guest_freedsoul_*

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 12:44 PM

All I'd like people to know is that this condition exists... Nobody knows what the f**k it is!



#9 Chicane

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 09:24 AM

1) That my physical fatigue and constant floaty, off-balance sensation from DPDR limits me greatly, and doing everyday things is a big challenge. Sometimes all I can do in a day is shower.

 

2) That I struggle with comprehension, multi-tasking, focus, concentration, memory, spatial orientation, thinking clearly, and performing basic activities that require multiple steps.

 

3) That my panic, agitation, depression and mood swings are just part of this and not the real me.

 

Of course, if people were to understand these things, there's a good chance they would talk down to me or treat me differently (ie. like I'm a total moron). So I have to wonder if it's a blessing that those around me don't fully understand.



#10 Blueyellowred23

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 10:49 AM

I think the biggest thing I want people to understand is that I'm not ok. I've been dealing with this for awhile now and even though I get up every single day and take care of my son and my responsibilities, I'm still not ok. I've only told 3 people about this and they all say the same thing: "you seen fine to me". The thoughts won't shut off and I can't get past the whole not feeling real thing. I'm going hell. I feel like I'm missing out on everything, and I hate when they say I'm not missing much.

#11 peachy

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 03:56 PM

I think one of mine would be that depersonalization has caused me to act in seemingly bizarre ways but they are not a product of my personality.  They are a product of circumstance.  Of trying something new.  I'm not crazy.  I'm not incapable of loving.  It's not that I don't know who I am.  It's the fact that I'm detached from my ability to feel sometimes, making it hard to do these things.  I abhor having a disorder that requires metaphors to explain.  I'm not ashamed to talk about having depersonalization.  I just detest being misunderstood and most the time, it hurts more to be misunderstood after opening my mouth than before.  

 

Sometimes I look bipolar because when I actually get a chance to feel real, I really REALLY embrace it because I know how fleeting it can be.  It's not that I'm incapable of emotionally regulating.  It's that I don't know the next chance I will get to feel anything so I go all in.  It's a choice.  

 

Out of body experiences are not the thrill you are thinking they would be when you are trying to have sex, in a job interview, studying for an exam, trying to hold a conversation, or pretty much most of life's essential components.  

 

Trust my non-biased input.  On days when I feel like I don't have an ego, it would be nice to be granted the satisfaction of knowing I have this ability at the very least. 

 

I don't have low self-esteem.  Some days I will wake up and feel like I don't have a body and I don't remember any of the thoughts I have about anything and so everyday is kind of like starting over and remembering.  Similar to Drew Barrymore in Fifty First Dates.  I know who I am but sometimes the connection in my brain gets severed and I need a few hours to reconnect.  

 

I'm not afraid to love you.  I'm afraid of my inability to feel love for you.  So if sometimes I'm distant, it's only because I am disconnected from my emotions and it's disorienting, confusing, and devastating to be around people I love when I can't remember what it feels like.  

 

I am in a constant state of fight or flight but that doesn't mean I'm anxious.  That also doesn't mean I have a problem with anxiety.  I have a problem with how my body and mind convert anxiety into a defense mechanism.  Everybody feels anxiety sometimes.  The difference between us is that when I get anxious, every system in my brain shuts down, rendering me unable to even feel anxiety.  And sometimes, in my calmest and happiest states I feel depersonalized.  

 

The thing I'm most proud of accomplishing is feeling.  I have gone through an unimaginable magnitude of creative ways to feel real.  

 

Don't try to school me on my own disorder or belittle me with talk about my mental health.  I have devoted my whole life to my mental health and if you haven't been around to watch the trial and error, you simply don't know.  First, I have had this since before I was old enough to conceptualize it in words.  Second, because there is a lack of education out there on this disorder, I have made the choice to take my health into my own terms and find solutions.  You may not agree with the way I go about doing things but you might if you saw the whole picture.  

 

The irony of this disorder is that a lot of the people I know with depersonalization disorder are the most self-aware people I have ever met.  Rationally, we know the world is real.  Rationally, we know we are real.  We just can't feel it and it's devastating.  

 

Feeling unreal is the most alienating experience I've ever had.  It's like the whole world is invited to a party and you are the only one that didn't get an invitation.  Even frogs, bugs, shadows, used staples, and the most socially awkward person you've ever met get to go.  It's a bitchslap from the universe.  



#12 eddy1886

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Posted 28 April 2016 - 01:58 AM

I think one of mine would be that depersonalization has caused me to act in seemingly bizarre ways but they are not a product of my personality.  They are a product of circumstance.  Of trying something new.  I'm not crazy.  I'm not incapable of loving.  It's not that I don't know who I am.  It's the fact that I'm detached from my ability to feel sometimes, making it hard to do these things.  I abhor having a disorder that requires metaphors to explain.  I'm not ashamed to talk about having depersonalization.  I just detest being misunderstood and most the time, it hurts more to be misunderstood after opening my mouth than before.  

 

Sometimes I look bipolar because when I actually get a chance to feel real, I really REALLY embrace it because I know how fleeting it can be.  It's not that I'm incapable of emotionally regulating.  It's that I don't know the next chance I will get to feel anything so I go all in.  It's a choice.  

 

Out of body experiences are not the thrill you are thinking they would be when you are trying to have sex, in a job interview, studying for an exam, trying to hold a conversation, or pretty much most of life's essential components.  

 

Trust my non-biased input.  On days when I feel like I don't have an ego, it would be nice to be granted the satisfaction of knowing I have this ability at the very least. 

 

I don't have low self-esteem.  Some days I will wake up and feel like I don't have a body and I don't remember any of the thoughts I have about anything and so everyday is kind of like starting over and remembering.  Similar to Drew Barrymore in Fifty First Dates.  I know who I am but sometimes the connection in my brain gets severed and I need a few hours to reconnect.  

 

I'm not afraid to love you.  I'm afraid of my inability to feel love for you.  So if sometimes I'm distant, it's only because I am disconnected from my emotions and it's disorienting, confusing, and devastating to be around people I love when I can't remember what it feels like.  

 

I am in a constant state of fight or flight but that doesn't mean I'm anxious.  That also doesn't mean I have a problem with anxiety.  I have a problem with how my body and mind convert anxiety into a defense mechanism.  Everybody feels anxiety sometimes.  The difference between us is that when I get anxious, every system in my brain shuts down, rendering me unable to even feel anxiety.  And sometimes, in my calmest and happiest states I feel depersonalized.  

 

The thing I'm most proud of accomplishing is feeling.  I have gone through an unimaginable magnitude of creative ways to feel real.  

 

Don't try to school me on my own disorder or belittle me with talk about my mental health.  I have devoted my whole life to my mental health and if you haven't been around to watch the trial and error, you simply don't know.  First, I have had this since before I was old enough to conceptualize it in words.  Second, because there is a lack of education out there on this disorder, I have made the choice to take my health into my own terms and find solutions.  You may not agree with the way I go about doing things but you might if you saw the whole picture.  

 

The irony of this disorder is that a lot of the people I know with depersonalization disorder are the most self-aware people I have ever met.  Rationally, we know the world is real.  Rationally, we know we are real.  We just can't feel it and it's devastating.  

 

Feeling unreal is the most alienating experience I've ever had.  It's like the whole world is invited to a party and you are the only one that didn't get an invitation.  Even frogs, bugs, shadows, used staples, and the most socially awkward person you've ever met get to go.  It's a bitchslap from the universe.  

Excellent observations!






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