[LivingWithTheDevil]

Hi everyone my names lisa im 21 and live in the uk.. Basically i know its stupid story but ill tell u anyways..

Ill be honest my depersonalization was brought on from smoking weed i only smoked it twice im my life and the second time i started feeling very hot i remember laughing with my head laid back on the sofa watchign eastenders next thing my partner spoke and as i turned my head that was it i felt myself disconnect an i watched myself laughin on the sofa such a strange feeling..

I ended up having a panic attack and my partner at the time had to sit with me until i feel asleep.. Im not stupid i knew what was going on wasnt normal but i felt as if i was about to die..

The days after that i couldnt even tell u about i was a mess..

Anyways thats how it started ... i found myself locking myself away and thinking i couldnt handle being a parent anymore then one day just before christmas me and my daughters dad broke up this got to me big time and trust me my dp got a million times worse i cud barly stand.. When it came to christmas day i though to myself.
I AM NOT WASTING MY LIFE LIVING LIKE THIS.. I want to love my daughter before i had this she used to bing tears to my eyes just sleeping i know i love her but i wana feel that feeling ya no where u hearts heavy with so much love.. So i put to it i was goign to cure myself ive been to loads of doctors and b een put on meds which ive never taken..

So i started searching for an answer and to be honest i never found one its people guessing when ull get better biggest load of balls ever if u ask me..

But i started not thinking about it i really did keep busy woke up in the morning got me an my daughter ready and everyday even tho i was scared to go out we did it.. And i kept keeping busy i was even doing gardening at one point an its freezing an snowing outside lol..

Anyway 2 weeks ago i was wwith My daughter up my mums house cooking feeling my usual spaced out mess just putting a brave face all i can remember was looking to the floor and closing my eyes cause i had a head ache then Alexi ( my daughter called mummy) so i opened my eyes and looked at her..
Guys i cant tell u what that felt like in that second my eyes filled out and i screamed that house down i could see and my gorgeous little girl my mum and dad came rushing in and thought i was crazy lol..

I ran outside in the street and was crying just looking at there house i couldnt believe i could see and i was awake for the 1st time in about a yr...

Anyways about a week ago my dad got told hers got cancer they all tried to hide it from me but i was sitting at a friends house when my mum finally told me..
I felt my sight slip away an that was it back it came i went back to the doc's to speak to someone and they said its brought on when ever it gets to much..

The reason im writting this is a never though i could get better BUT YOUR REALLY CAN..

YOU GUYS R THE BRAVEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND I DO HONESTLY MEAN THAT...

I KNOW this isnt nice and i know it takes a long time but from my heart dont listen to other people who say u cant get better cause u can Im going to get better i know i am..

I just want yoyu guys to know it will happen..
MY ADVISE IS TO;
1) stay away from drugs and drink at all costs
2) try to be happy ( i know its hard )
3) Believe in yourself honestly only u can fix it just laugh at it honestly as i keep saying i know its hard but all i kept thinkign was people pay good money to feel like this.. I know its different but its all we got lol.
4) Try to keep busy.

THIS WILL GO AWAY DONT BE SCARED OF IT EITHER I KNOW I WAS BUT NOT NEMORE..
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE IM NOT SCARED OF SPIDERS ANYMORE..
PLEASE JUST LAUGH CAUSE U NEED TO BE HAPPY..
Much love guys
Lisa xxxxxxxxxxxx

[manu]

thnks lisa....it ws a motivating thought....
hope all gets well at my end too...i have been suffering fr abt 8-10 years(m 23 now)...
hope thngs get better...
peace.

[EsotericMotion]

awesome, thatsan inspiring story. Im feelin much better myself lately

pce

[LivingWithTheDevil]

Thats great i love hearing about people getting better... Well done you..
x

[PSUgirl]

omg i love your story! thanks for posting it. I havent read a recovery story yet and this was very inspiring
thank you thank lol

[LivingWithTheDevil]

Hey guys sorry i havent replied i made a point to myself to forget the dp no search it ect and let me tell you it wrked im amazingly happy now and i live a perfect life again..
If any of you live in the uk and wanna talk about it just message me and ill send u me number so we can talk..
It does it getting better guys just try to stop thinking about it nd stop searching for answers your the key to fixing it..
Love u all lots
Lisa xxx

[coralation]

Hey Lisa,

Thanks so much for your post, it was really awesome to read. I had a really bad trip with weed a couple months ago and that's when this has all started with me too, and I'm hoping I will get better and not let this last. Having a panic attack with weed or other drugs seems to be what really triggered this for a lot of other people so it's good to know we all aren't alone and this is so common...it makes me feel so much more secure knowing that there isn't something exclusively wrong with me and that it happens to others all the time and they can relate.

Haha and I am also like deathly afraid of centipedes, so maybe one day I can get over that phobia too. That would be really helpful in life as well, HAHA.

[jeffd]

LivingWithTheDevil, on 08 February 2010 - 11:39 AM, said:

Hi everyone my names lisa im 21 and live in the uk.. Basically i know its stupid story but ill tell u anyways..

Ill be honest my depersonalization was brought on from smoking weed i only smoked it twice im my life and the second time i started feeling very hot i remember laughing with my head laid back on the sofa watchign eastenders next thing my partner spoke and as i turned my head that was it i felt myself disconnect an i watched myself laughin on the sofa such a strange feeling..

I ended up having a panic attack and my partner at the time had to sit with me until i feel asleep.. Im not stupid i knew what was going on wasnt normal but i felt as if i was about to die..

The days after that i couldnt even tell u about i was a mess..

Anyways thats how it started ... i found myself locking myself away and thinking i couldnt handle being a parent anymore then one day just before christmas me and my daughters dad broke up this got to me big time and trust me my dp got a million times worse i cud barly stand.. When it came to christmas day i though to myself.
I AM NOT WASTING MY LIFE LIVING LIKE THIS.. I want to love my daughter before i had this she used to bing tears to my eyes just sleeping i know i love her but i wana feel that feeling ya no where u hearts heavy with so much love.. So i put to it i was goign to cure myself ive been to loads of doctors and b een put on meds which ive never taken..

So i started searching for an answer and to be honest i never found one its people guessing when ull get better biggest load of balls ever if u ask me..

But i started not thinking about it i really did keep busy woke up in the morning got me an my daughter ready and everyday even tho i was scared to go out we did it.. And i kept keeping busy i was even doing gardening at one point an its freezing an snowing outside lol..

Anyway 2 weeks ago i was wwith My daughter up my mums house cooking feeling my usual spaced out mess just putting a brave face all i can remember was looking to the floor and closing my eyes cause i had a head ache then Alexi ( my daughter called mummy) so i opened my eyes and looked at her..
Guys i cant tell u what that felt like in that second my eyes filled out and i screamed that house down i could see and my gorgeous little girl my mum and dad came rushing in and thought i was crazy lol..

I ran outside in the street and was crying just looking at there house i couldnt believe i could see and i was awake for the 1st time in about a yr...

Anyways about a week ago my dad got told hers got cancer they all tried to hide it from me but i was sitting at a friends house when my mum finally told me..
I felt my sight slip away an that was it back it came i went back to the doc's to speak to someone and they said its brought on when ever it gets to much..

The reason im writting this is a never though i could get better BUT YOUR REALLY CAN..

YOU GUYS R THE BRAVEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND I DO HONESTLY MEAN THAT...

I KNOW this isnt nice and i know it takes a long time but from my heart dont listen to other people who say u cant get better cause u can Im going to get better i know i am..

I just want yoyu guys to know it will happen..
MY ADVISE IS TO;
1) stay away from drugs and drink at all costs
2) try to be happy ( i know its hard )
3) Believe in yourself honestly only u can fix it just laugh at it honestly as i keep saying i know its hard but all i kept thinkign was people pay good money to feel like this.. I know its different but its all we got lol.
4) Try to keep busy.

THIS WILL GO AWAY DONT BE SCARED OF IT EITHER I KNOW I WAS BUT NOT NEMORE..
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE IM NOT SCARED OF SPIDERS ANYMORE..
PLEASE JUST LAUGH CAUSE U NEED TO BE HAPPY..
Much love guys
Lisa xxxxxxxxxxxx

thanks for sharing. that really gives me a lot of hope. i got it from the same cause and experienced very similar to what you described. had mine for about a year so hopefully the same will happen for me thanks

[thinkpositive]

LivingWithTheDevil, on 08 February 2010 - 01:39 PM, said:

Hi everyone my names lisa im 21 and live in the uk.. Basically i know its stupid story but ill tell u anyways..

Ill be honest my depersonalization was brought on from smoking weed i only smoked it twice im my life and the second time i started feeling very hot i remember laughing with my head laid back on the sofa watchign eastenders next thing my partner spoke and as i turned my head that was it i felt myself disconnect an i watched myself laughin on the sofa such a strange feeling..

I ended up having a panic attack and my partner at the time had to sit with me until i feel asleep.. Im not stupid i knew what was going on wasnt normal but i felt as if i was about to die..

The days after that i couldnt even tell u about i was a mess..

Anyways thats how it started ... i found myself locking myself away and thinking i couldnt handle being a parent anymore then one day just before christmas me and my daughters dad broke up this got to me big time and trust me my dp got a million times worse i cud barly stand.. When it came to christmas day i though to myself.
I AM NOT WASTING MY LIFE LIVING LIKE THIS.. I want to love my daughter before i had this she used to bing tears to my eyes just sleeping i know i love her but i wana feel that feeling ya no where u hearts heavy with so much love.. So i put to it i was goign to cure myself ive been to loads of doctors and b een put on meds which ive never taken..

So i started searching for an answer and to be honest i never found one its people guessing when ull get better biggest load of balls ever if u ask me..

But i started not thinking about it i really did keep busy woke up in the morning got me an my daughter ready and everyday even tho i was scared to go out we did it.. And i kept keeping busy i was even doing gardening at one point an its freezing an snowing outside lol..

Anyway 2 weeks ago i was wwith My daughter up my mums house cooking feeling my usual spaced out mess just putting a brave face all i can remember was looking to the floor and closing my eyes cause i had a head ache then Alexi ( my daughter called mummy) so i opened my eyes and looked at her..
Guys i cant tell u what that felt like in that second my eyes filled out and i screamed that house down i could see and my gorgeous little girl my mum and dad came rushing in and thought i was crazy lol..

I ran outside in the street and was crying just looking at there house i couldnt believe i could see and i was awake for the 1st time in about a yr...

Anyways about a week ago my dad got told hers got cancer they all tried to hide it from me but i was sitting at a friends house when my mum finally told me..
I felt my sight slip away an that was it back it came i went back to the doc's to speak to someone and they said its brought on when ever it gets to much..

The reason im writting this is a never though i could get better BUT YOUR REALLY CAN..

YOU GUYS R THE BRAVEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND I DO HONESTLY MEAN THAT...

I KNOW this isnt nice and i know it takes a long time but from my heart dont listen to other people who say u cant get better cause u can Im going to get better i know i am..

I just want yoyu guys to know it will happen..
MY ADVISE IS TO;
1) stay away from drugs and drink at all costs
2) try to be happy ( i know its hard )
3) Believe in yourself honestly only u can fix it just laugh at it honestly as i keep saying i know its hard but all i kept thinkign was people pay good money to feel like this.. I know its different but its all we got lol.
4) Try to keep busy.

THIS WILL GO AWAY DONT BE SCARED OF IT EITHER I KNOW I WAS BUT NOT NEMORE..
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE IM NOT SCARED OF SPIDERS ANYMORE..
PLEASE JUST LAUGH CAUSE U NEED TO BE HAPPY..
Much love guys
Lisa xxxxxxxxxxxx

I totally get what you mean when you say your vision came back. Ever since I've had DP i feel like I've gone blind even though I see 20/20 and can read perfectly etc. It's just like I don't connect with anything. Is that what you meant when you say you got your vision back? Like all that disconnect stopped and you could feel emotion and yourself again?

[shanaxo3]

LivingWithTheDevil, on 08 February 2010 - 09:39 AM, said:

Hi everyone my names lisa im 21 and live in the uk.. Basically i know its stupid story but ill tell u anyways..

Ill be honest my depersonalization was brought on from smoking weed i only smoked it twice im my life and the second time i started feeling very hot i remember laughing with my head laid back on the sofa watchign eastenders next thing my partner spoke and as i turned my head that was it i felt myself disconnect an i watched myself laughin on the sofa such a strange feeling..

I ended up having a panic attack and my partner at the time had to sit with me until i feel asleep.. Im not stupid i knew what was going on wasnt normal but i felt as if i was about to die..

The days after that i couldnt even tell u about i was a mess..

Anyways thats how it started ... i found myself locking myself away and thinking i couldnt handle being a parent anymore then one day just before christmas me and my daughters dad broke up this got to me big time and trust me my dp got a million times worse i cud barly stand.. When it came to christmas day i though to myself.
I AM NOT WASTING MY LIFE LIVING LIKE THIS.. I want to love my daughter before i had this she used to bing tears to my eyes just sleeping i know i love her but i wana feel that feeling ya no where u hearts heavy with so much love.. So i put to it i was goign to cure myself ive been to loads of doctors and b een put on meds which ive never taken..

So i started searching for an answer and to be honest i never found one its people guessing when ull get better biggest load of balls ever if u ask me..

But i started not thinking about it i really did keep busy woke up in the morning got me an my daughter ready and everyday even tho i was scared to go out we did it.. And i kept keeping busy i was even doing gardening at one point an its freezing an snowing outside lol..

Anyway 2 weeks ago i was wwith My daughter up my mums house cooking feeling my usual spaced out mess just putting a brave face all i can remember was looking to the floor and closing my eyes cause i had a head ache then Alexi ( my daughter called mummy) so i opened my eyes and looked at her..
Guys i cant tell u what that felt like in that second my eyes filled out and i screamed that house down i could see and my gorgeous little girl my mum and dad came rushing in and thought i was crazy lol..

I ran outside in the street and was crying just looking at there house i couldnt believe i could see and i was awake for the 1st time in about a yr...

Anyways about a week ago my dad got told hers got cancer they all tried to hide it from me but i was sitting at a friends house when my mum finally told me..
I felt my sight slip away an that was it back it came i went back to the doc's to speak to someone and they said its brought on when ever it gets to much..

The reason im writting this is a never though i could get better BUT YOUR REALLY CAN..

YOU GUYS R THE BRAVEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND I DO HONESTLY MEAN THAT...

I KNOW this isnt nice and i know it takes a long time but from my heart dont listen to other people who say u cant get better cause u can Im going to get better i know i am..

I just want yoyu guys to know it will happen..
MY ADVISE IS TO;
1) stay away from drugs and drink at all costs
2) try to be happy ( i know its hard )
3) Believe in yourself honestly only u can fix it just laugh at it honestly as i keep saying i know its hard but all i kept thinkign was people pay good money to feel like this.. I know its different but its all we got lol.
4) Try to keep busy.

THIS WILL GO AWAY DONT BE SCARED OF IT EITHER I KNOW I WAS BUT NOT NEMORE..
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE IM NOT SCARED OF SPIDERS ANYMORE..
PLEASE JUST LAUGH CAUSE U NEED TO BE HAPPY..
Much love guys
Lisa xxxxxxxxxxxx

I hope mine goes away soon, this gives me so much hope that it goes away!