SUBJECT>idiot DP ;o( (i hate this)
POSTER>Ash
EMAIL>our_hope@hotmail.com
DATE>Monday, 24 January 2000, at 8:07 p.m.
hi
its me Ash again.
its my exams time and i cant concentrat in anything really, i am going to fail everything, when i sit in examination room suddenly i start concentrating in my DP and want to run away from there it is so weird feeling, i hate it.
i had some normal(abt 70%) days with dp, but now dudeenly it increased, i noticed that when i am stress or upset or even if one day i do all work even which i like doing then i start feeling horrible DP,
like if i am too busy today, going here or there or even enjoyed then defenetly my DP gonna get worse, why is that i dont know,
yesterday evening first of all i remember something and suddenly forgot within in seconds, and it happened so frequently that made me panic, then i start feeling again like i am TWO PERSON like i am talking in my brain, questioning and answering, ohh shit it is scary,
all night i was restless, like i am not ME,i am always having weirdest dreams, so scary and funny, i am just going crazy. my DP is always with me but sometime sit goes to peak,
and i feel so scared, i dont know what i am writing but this hell is just 'bitch'
sorry for my language again,
sometime even normal things scares hell out of me, and life seems so horrible to me, my mum dad coming soon to see me but i dont feel NO HAPPINESS at all, u not gonna believe how much i love them and how much i suffered and waited to see them, anyway i dont know what to do,
dreamer, andrea, simon,gbenga i mean all of u i need a hug ;o(
take care
love
Ash